If you want to get a man to commit, you need to follow a few rules so that you actually get results. Getting a man to commit is one of the all time big questions that every woman at some point in her life has wrestled with.
It is one of the most common asked questions that I have women ask me when I coach them and the golden rule is:
‘Think pleasure and pain!’
Let me explain what I mean by this.
Suppose you’ve been dating a guy for 4 weeks or so and he tells you he doesn’t want to be exclusive. Perhaps he just tells you he’s not ready to commit.
Let’s go through the specific rules of how to make him want to be in a relationship with you.
RULE No. 1 – Never ever give your man an ultimatum!
A response women often make is to give an ultimatum, in other words they’ll say to the guy that if he does not commit to her exclusively from now on, she is sorry but their relationship is over.
Now this looks like a decent approach, right? – WRONG
If you give a man an ultimatum, he will run a mile every time. By bearing down on him to make an ‘all or nothing’ decision, you will only make him associate pain and stress with commitment.
He will see it as having to resign himself to a relationship, and he’ll romanticize the freedom that he would get being single.
Rule No. 2 – Don’t give him all the benefits of a relationship before he’s committed to one
A guy has to earn is place in your life. What a lot of women make the mistake of doing is giving themselves completely to a guy before he has expressed any intention of committing.
Not only does this apply sexually, but also to how much time they give him. They let him call her up and come over whenever he’s around, they break plans for him, come and look after him when he’s ill, the list goes on….
If you give a guy all these things before you’re even dating he’ll think:
“Why do I need to commit when I can get all this attention and still be single?”
Rule No. 3 – Get him to associate massive pleasure to commitment!
Another mistake women make when men won’t commit is trying to be colder towards him. This is also the wrong response.
Although it’s right that you might want to back off a bit (or even date other men), you want to make sure that whatever time you do spend together is the most fun he could possibly have!
That way when you leave he’ll think: “I want to spend more time with this girl, we have such an amazing time together!”
You always need the guy to realize that every time he commits to you a little bit more, things get more fun, more exciting, more romantic, and more sexy. If you give him everything all at once right away, there’s nothing left for him to achieve by being in a relationship with you.
What you ideally want is for him to feel like the single life can never be as much fun than experiencing new things with you can be.
A guy needs to feel like he’s missing out by not committing to you.
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Hi guys. Hoping i can maybe help someone avoid the same heartache. I have been with a man I adore for 3 1/2 years. We live together but he works on the other side of the country on a roster of 4 weeks and home for 1 week. So over that time i have expressed that marriage was very important for me and he kept saying it wasn’t his thing but he would come around one day. When marriage was mentioned he was get angry and literally bristle up. 6 months ago I said I wanted to be married and that I didn’t feel comfortable being in a relationship that was heading that way. He asked me to stay 6 months and he would ask me. 6 months was up this week and i gently reminded him of the timing. He wrote a text saying “well will you marry me then”. I thought he was taking the piss and being cruel so I said that he wasn’t very nice to ask me like that. He flew off the handle. Once he calmed down he explained that he loved me but had never wanted to marry me. He had never wanted to marry anyone. The thought made him sick and he had tried for me but just never felt that way. He had never smiled at the thought of marrying me. It was just a chore he thought he would have to do. He has now agreed to break up because he hasn’t been happy for months because he knew he would have to eventually let me down. He had tried to tell me in subtle ways for a year or more but i just ignored it and tried harder for him to fall in love me with. I gave him everything i had because I had been in relationships before but had never loved this deeply. I thought he was my forever. Please stay smart girls…. not that I regret knowing what loving someone felt like… i just regret not opening my eyes to him not feeling the same and not being able to change his mind.
Hey.I have truly and mistaken spend one year making my other half a priority.he loves me but I am always there for him so he doesn’t seem to appreciate it .we have ,difficult situations in our lives ,thinks we have to take care and people to support.I don’t want to throw myself to him,and I don’t .the question is how do I get a man how has feelings,to show and to commit.i cannot afford financial the guidance.thanks
After being in the far country for some time. He told my family he was happy being separated and didn’t know why he got married. It hurt so bad, so i reached out to Dr. Alfred on email alfredhealinghome AT gmail DOT com. At first, I wanted to give up but then a contact with Dr. Alfred encouraged me to stand for my marriage. And to cut the whole story short, My husband and I are back together and we are one happy family again.
good article
was in a committed relationship with my male friend. We reunited but he says he likes me a lot but don’t want to be in a relationship. After our break up he got engaged to another woman but now he says he is not engaged. I got to house unexpectedly and no one is there. But I can’t spend the night no more
Why is it always the woman who tries hard to get a man to commit?! Why can’t he just do it out of love for the woman?! Why make it that much harder?! Men, if you love your woman deeply enough, you SHOULD be committed to her as well as exclusive! Typically, that goes in the form of a marriage contract, if not just letting her know that you love her through your actions and words! That’s it! Why make it harder on both of you! Life’s hard enough!
An interesting discussion is worth comment.
There’s no doubt that that you need to publish more on this issue,
it may not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t discuss these subjects.
To the next! Best wishes!!
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!