Question from a reader:
Hey Matt,
I am seeing a guy who I’ve been on and off with for just under a year now, he stays over every few days and we go out occasionally so I know he definitely likes me but he doesn’t want to seem to commit to a relationship and I do. I’ve asked him a couple of times what he wants to do, but I think he just wants to keep things casual.
So what should I do?
Matt’s response:
Something I really go into detail in during my events is something I like to refer to as “The Male Blueprint”. It’s essentially a mindset many men adopt between the ages of about 18-30. Through the media, TV shows and films, men have grown up to be conditioned into thinking that relationships don’t allow for any freedom, whilst being single comes with all of the adventure and crazy parties that they’ve seen on the screens.
Now of course we know this isn’t really the case, but we need to change his conditioning so he becomes more favourable to commitment. My guess would be that right now, he strolls in and out of your life, as and when he pleases. And whilst this might be hard to hear, if it is the case, you just have to accept that it’s been happening, and it’s up to you to make a change.
To do this, you need every time you see him to get better and better; you need to leave him always wanting more, and you need to demonstrate to him that if he wants to get everything he wants from you, he’s going to have to make a commitment. This isn’t ‘playing hard to get’, it’s being a high-value woman. Once this really sinks in and resonates with him, there will be nothing on his mind but you, and he’ll be craving a real commitment.
Matthew x
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