Men are terrible at picking up on signs of attraction. Absolutely awful in fact. When trying to attract a guy you can cackle like a witch at all his jokes, give him unrelenting eye contact at the dinner table and even stroke his arm when you talk to him and he’ll still be none the wiser!
So why would you want to be subtle?
More often than not, whilst men may not be the most astute of creatures when a girl is interested in them, nine times out of ten they will pick up on the signals that are directed towards their friends, and inevitably this information arrives at it’s intended
destination.
A big factor in men being so oblivious to your interest is self-doubt. They repress any attraction signals from you and come up with other explanations as to why it’s happening. So if you want to attract a guy while keeping him on tenterhooks, you’ve got to see the obvious signs of attraction from men or at least enough to get him questioning what you’re saying, but you also want to make sure you’re keeping those around him in the dark.
Sounds easy right?
A lot of women like the idea of attracting men without the guy initially knowing of their interest, and so many adopt the approach of trying to attract a guy by being extremely dismissive. They stop smiling or giving him any eye contact, they turn their backs to them if ever in a conversation and they just generally ignore him thinking that guys will jump at the chance of trying to win over such an ice queen.
Doing this will stop even the most relentless of guys in their tracks, so if you continue to do this, I wish you good luck in getting him interested! I assure you that to attract men, it’s imperative that you remain warm and friendly (whilst not giving too much away). And the best way to do this is by giving a guy mixed signals. Women generally don’t understand this when first discover how to attract men, but it’s essential – so keep it in mind.
Mixed Signals
It’s okay to give a guy mixed signals. In fact it’s great! Mixed signals make a guy curious.
When a guy is 100% certain that you’re interested in him (which only really ever happens after some serious convincing from his friends!) he often becomes disinterested. You’ve shown too much interest and so he no longer considers this exciting. Remember that guys like a challenge – not an impossible expedition (like the bitch mentioned earlier) but thrilling excitement brought about by creating curiosity and intrigue.
Alternatively the feeling of certainty becomes too much for him. If he really likes you, in many cases a guy will do nothing about it just because he experiences so much anxiety. If he knows you’re really interested in him, and he still manages to mess things up, imagine what that would say about him! It’s too big of a risk to make.
Be a Bit Flirty With Everyone
Perhaps the best way to disguise your advances is by becoming a generally more flirty person. If he see’s that you’re playfully flirty around other people, it won’t dawn on him (or his friends) when you’re a bit cheeky around him. There is also a massive benefit of winning over the other guys around him – they will start to talk about how playful, funny and attractive you are. The more guys do this amongst one another, the more they reassure themselves of it and the more of a challenge you become!
Now rather than destroying his ego by potentially rejecting him, he’s getting a massive ego boost as in his mind he’s beat a whole host of other guys to be with you. And thats really the secret to attract a guy without him catching on. Myself and the team really enjoy reading your comments and feedback, so if you’ve ever been in a position where you’ve had to attract a guy without anyone else noticing, perhaps at work or at the office, then do let us know!
i really don’t now how to carry this out advice out considering im an 18 year old woman that has never even gone on a date and i have this suety palm problem when ever im nerves 99% so my hand palms are suety 99% of the time making it rely hard to flirt with guys and well the other day this guy was flirting with me he took the seat i was seating in and told me to seat on him and im like i don’t really want to like im 130 i have mas he looked built and im not so im like fine ill sit on the floor cuz all the chairs where taken then he sat next to me and gave my sit to some other tool. he went to hold my hand “that was so cute of him ” but i had to reject him because of my suety palms so what do i do there
That is really awful, I hear from my violin teacher, that she had a student with that same problem… she told me her student went all the places with some kind of cloth or a place to make her hands a little dry.
I am no expert on this kind of problem, but, I think there is some kind of surgery you can do to solve it.
But if you are not willing to do it, I think you should try not to get that nervous. I mean, as Matt himself said in one of his posts, be self confident, and don’t be nervous! Being nervous will just increase the sweating on your hands. You have to be confident, and positive about being around a guy.
If you have, for example, a pimple on your face, always puting your hand on it, will make it more noticible, but if you look handsome, cute, and nice even with it, the guy you are looking for will eventually notice all your good points, and even forget about the problem you have!
You should always care a cloth around, on your pocket on on your purse, so you can be drying your hands quite often and don’t making it a big mess.
I hope I helped you, dear.
From a fellow girl,
Coraline
Angelica needs to go to school.
That is disturbing to see that poor of education in an 18 year old.
Lol suety…
I feel the same way. I am very embarassed about my fellow 18 year old.
hi I am a 30yrs old m in relationship more than 5yrs my bf is not ready yet for marriage I feel frustrated..so in my office I started notice that one guy staring at me most of the time so I also started staring at him n I came to knw frm my fren that his friend ask her abt my name and now I really like him I cannot get him off my mind please help am really cnfust wat is this…
I think there should be a balance in being flirty… Here there is not any indication of how much is too much. Okay, I get that guys can neglect a lot of signs women do and might need something extra. However, girls do not want to attract the wrong type of guys. So at least that part is confusing to me.
So I liked this guy for a while now and i try to take the initiative of confronting him. So he did text me and I did enjoy the conversation. Then he did text me the next morning and I was thinking maybe there might be a chance of attraction or he just views me as a friend. I did texted him to start conversation with him only twice,we talked for a long time but I’m not sure if it seems like if I’m giving him too attention? But from what you said if he knows that I might be interested in him then he becomes disinterested is their anyway way to reverse that? How can I tell that he might be interested in me..
I also want advice for my case.I like the boy who was my fri.at first,i didn’t interest him.he is so flirty with other girls.when i interest him,although i didn’t show i like him,he keep away from me.i asked him why he did like that.and then we had an argue and he said he don’t want to be friendly with me in future because he thought we two are not understanding each other and have different ideas.but i was so depressed because i didn’t expect he would say like that and i love him.how should i do to attract him ?
Hi I hav this guy who acts like he likes me but then doesn’t. I like him! I’m a naturally flirty person so everyone thinks I like everyone. I kinda need help on what I should do. We’ve been really close to dating like three times now but I don’t know what to do from here….
I don’t quite understand why a guy would be anxious, if he knows the girl likes him.
Because it brings up all sorts of anxieties in him about a) can he please her, is he good enough for her b) is he going to lose his freedom? Those are some of the anxieties men will feel
Hi
I’m 16 and there’s this guy in my math class that I sit next to. He’s really nice and he helps me when I have a problem on something. We talk occasionally but not very often. And half the time it’s about school work. What should I do to get more of his attention? There’s no other guys that I can talk to or really flirt with in that class so I feel helpless….?
Hi I was wondering about why a guy would be anxious if he knew you liked him?…I liked this guy that seemed to like me…I asked one of my guy friends about him and he ended up telling the guy after that I hardly see him. I truely thought the guy liked me…weird!
I’m 26 use to be in short term relationships and now I feel stupid of liking someone so much it scares me. I don’t want to fall for him but I think I am, I have read the tips from the article and thinking if i would try to attract him and hope to go to the next level it may be too late for that. Doing that might have him avoid me since it doesn’t seem like a good idea to kill the challenge to tell him upfront that I am liking him beyond physical. we started and knew each other as like FLIRTING only because he’s hot. i wasn’t expecting that he’s someone nice n’ easy to talk to about serious stuff w/c is why he caught me off-guarded and now I feel Cheezy. Since we are like friends w/ benefits i didn’t care at all and was easy for him to get in my pants. It’s hard to pretend that I am still the same liberated gal just to hide that I am having special feelings for him. Would it be a good easier for me just to stop talking to him? and just try to kill how I feel? HELP..
I like a boy who is different from others, very simple and qute without any showoff i know him through facebook but i like him a lot and nearabout i love him.He has no girlfriend but the prblem is that how i attract him.I always thought that he is a perfect guy for me and nearabout he also like me.
@swati mishra, be urself do u see him very often ?
does he ever talk to uuu?
I am interested in a guy who is my mentor and leader for a business group I belong to. This article is really helpful, I’ve been doing some things you mentioned, but now I have to start flirting with him more as well. It’s kind of hard to do in a business setting. Any subtle suggestions?
I like a guy which is my senior, I ask him that would he accept any girls, he said that depends on the situation… But I Really Like Him Alot.. But He Seemed To Have No Feelings For Me… what can i do?
it may be that the boy likes you but he too does not know that how to start a relationship with you .this is the case in many situations.all you have to do is become a little flirty with him.
I’ve been friends with these two guys for a while (they are cousins) . The first guy I’ll just call him a, we met on a double date with his sister and her boyfriend. He seemed nice, it was a little awkward at first talking to him because of the ‘date set up’. His sister (close friend of mine) told me he had a major crush on me. I was a little ehhh at first because I barely knew him. But I agreed to see him to get to know him, he liked me but I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. Couple months goes by and he starts calling me less and less. Now the next guy (call him b) always hung out with us when I went over to see A at thier house (we’d all watch movies and play video games together). Now B is starting to call me more and I hung out with him to get to know him better. Over time I can say for sure there is nothing there for B, I feel no spark at all. As for A at first I wasn’t sure but as time wore on the more he started to grow on me, the more I started to like his little quirks and I find myself having feelings for this guy.
this whole process has happened a little over a year, my problem is B still likes me and even though I turned him down once (I told him I’d rather be friends) he still seems determined. And that makes A a little distant from me because his cousin likes me.
I really don’t know if A still likes me or if he’s moved on.
(I never slept or kissed either one of these guys- I’ve never really acted flirtatious with either one, just treated them both as friends) .
Has my boat pretty much sailed with A? (Have I really missed my chance to be with him) .
what do I do about B? I decided to put some distance from him, anything else I can do to let him down easy?
I hate to lose friends over this…..
I like this guy who is my classmate and my good friend. I’ve had a crush on him like for 6 months now. His friends keep telling that i am into him! My best friend was his girl friend and as far as i know they never liked each other….She proposed to him and he accepted. Now they broke up and that guy keeps flirting with me but i don’t understand if he likes me. what should i do now?
Well I had a friend We were studying in Evening courses and We made Friends and Once we exchanged our mobile numbers so We chatted A Lot, nearly 6 hours a day We walked and Talked And I confessed, I told him that I loved him and It seemed like so did he. we were like best friends,but we were always Arguing together and Once he just approached and wanted to take my hand But I was like gone Wild. I said No Way. and Then he just said me Everything was over. I realized that I still love him. I can’t get him off my mind I want To hate him but I can’t. I THINK I love Him . What should I do? I just don’t know what to do. Help me please…..
i like a guy and we are family friends….we both are of same age…i want to approach him but i m scared that may be it may ruin our family relation… we never had any type of conversation…some time i got chance but i m not getting positive response from his side….i dont know how to attract him towards me so that we can talk…..we are connected on facebook…but we never had chats or any conversation over their….plz advice me how to attract him towards me….
I am confused
Be confident
i am in luv with a guy who iz next to my class…..n i lyk him so much…..i first called him n tried to be his friend but he always ignore me…..and messup things i do….and don’t even want to talk to me….says gudnite tata i am feelin sleepy……..what shall i do plz help…..
U too ignore him dnt let him feel that u r dieng for him..let him come to talk to u… U respect ur self.. he vl too come back offf u
one of my classmate likes me.he told that to my friend.i have also started liking him.but he is not confessing now that he is in love with me.he has my no. and he also msgs me and flirts with me……….but i love him and he too 100% loves me..what should i do???
Just ask him out. I know that sounds a lot harder than what it really is, but if he likes you and you really like him and you have been friends for a while just ask him out as a no pressure group date thing. And if all goes well go out to a movie or something.Trust me it will be fine guys like girls who take charge and go after what they want.
You should be confident of what are u saying to him..be careing,loving,laugh at his jokes,be FRIENDLY the most important thing of the love is be friendly especially the boy that u have a crush on..
Hye Esha I think sooo he is good for u bcoz the person who is afraid to lose their love they are afraid to propose… So u just show the hint that u too love him n force him to say that he loves u… N dnt talk to other boys off ur class bcoz the person who loves will always feel possesive by seeing u with smeone else..all the best..