Men are terrible at picking up on signs of attraction. Absolutely awful in fact. When trying to attract a guy you can cackle like a witch at all his jokes, give him unrelenting eye contact at the dinner table and even stroke his arm when you talk to him and he’ll still be none the wiser!
So why would you want to be subtle?
More often than not, whilst men may not be the most astute of creatures when a girl is interested in them, nine times out of ten they will pick up on the signals that are directed towards their friends, and inevitably this information arrives at it’s intended
destination.
A big factor in men being so oblivious to your interest is self-doubt. They repress any attraction signals from you and come up with other explanations as to why it’s happening. So if you want to attract a guy while keeping him on tenterhooks, you’ve got to see the obvious signs of attraction from men or at least enough to get him questioning what you’re saying, but you also want to make sure you’re keeping those around him in the dark.
Sounds easy right?
A lot of women like the idea of attracting men without the guy initially knowing of their interest, and so many adopt the approach of trying to attract a guy by being extremely dismissive. They stop smiling or giving him any eye contact, they turn their backs to them if ever in a conversation and they just generally ignore him thinking that guys will jump at the chance of trying to win over such an ice queen.
Doing this will stop even the most relentless of guys in their tracks, so if you continue to do this, I wish you good luck in getting him interested! I assure you that to attract men, it’s imperative that you remain warm and friendly (whilst not giving too much away). And the best way to do this is by giving a guy mixed signals. Women generally don’t understand this when first discover how to attract men, but it’s essential – so keep it in mind.
Mixed Signals
It’s okay to give a guy mixed signals. In fact it’s great! Mixed signals make a guy curious.
When a guy is 100% certain that you’re interested in him (which only really ever happens after some serious convincing from his friends!) he often becomes disinterested. You’ve shown too much interest and so he no longer considers this exciting. Remember that guys like a challenge – not an impossible expedition (like the bitch mentioned earlier) but thrilling excitement brought about by creating curiosity and intrigue.
Alternatively the feeling of certainty becomes too much for him. If he really likes you, in many cases a guy will do nothing about it just because he experiences so much anxiety. If he knows you’re really interested in him, and he still manages to mess things up, imagine what that would say about him! It’s too big of a risk to make.
Be a Bit Flirty With Everyone
Perhaps the best way to disguise your advances is by becoming a generally more flirty person. If he see’s that you’re playfully flirty around other people, it won’t dawn on him (or his friends) when you’re a bit cheeky around him. There is also a massive benefit of winning over the other guys around him – they will start to talk about how playful, funny and attractive you are. The more guys do this amongst one another, the more they reassure themselves of it and the more of a challenge you become!
Now rather than destroying his ego by potentially rejecting him, he’s getting a massive ego boost as in his mind he’s beat a whole host of other guys to be with you. And thats really the secret to attract a guy without him catching on. Myself and the team really enjoy reading your comments and feedback, so if you’ve ever been in a position where you’ve had to attract a guy without anyone else noticing, perhaps at work or at the office, then do let us know!
My story started few months ago. I moved into a new flat, and after a short while of time i have met my landlord.
Just to mention that after 4 years my cousin died i decided thatthe best place for her son to be is with me, as hes father wasnt much interested to rase him.( i am romanian but living in england.
So i am a single mum :)but independent and a bit clever i would say. Confident with the way i a,.
The day i met my landord was when he came to pick hes post, i thought that he looks like my dream husband! But that day i was really profesional, but nice. He mentioned that he will redirect hes post very soon but after 2 months hes post keeped coming, thing that made me very happy because that was the only chance to see him and have a chat with him. Once he offered to give me a lift to work(a 30 mins jurny) and we start talking about anything untill he asked me if i visit my parents often. My answer was that me getting a bit older( 30 years old) makes me feel that i want to see my parents more often as i realise that they are getting older as well. Hes question was how old are they and i sad that my mum is 50.
After couple of days i find out that he is 50 as well but he doesnt look like it.
From that day hes post never came to my flat.
He used to bring little presents to my son, and just be really chatty when he would come over.
Now all is quite!:)
Is there anything i can do to see him? We live in the same town but never saw him out.
I think he thinks that i think he is too old for me, but i dont think that. I really would like to see him again and see where things go.
Just wanted to ask because he is my landlord that makes it more difficult for him?
Or doyou have any ideas on hw to contact him? Or i just have to pe patient and let tie to resolve it? :)
Please help!!
Hi, there’s this guy who i have been friends with for a long time (few years) in the last December holidays we had a fling but eventually i got bored of him as i was moving… Turned out i came back and we ended up in the same class at High School. I dont know what happened but somehow i fell for him hard, he seems to be the perfect guy but he has never been in a relationship before. He has money, he’s religious, academic and doesn’t drink or smoke. What do i do now? We friends and i dont want to make things awkward between us.. Thanks :)
I like this guy but I don’t have his number yet we don’t have any of the same classes so I don’t know how to smoothly ask for his number. I don’t want to make it to obvious that I like him but he tends to make me start the conversation and I really suck at carrying one on. This girl today actually was like playing with him but sitting on his lap and kissing his cheeks and he seemed uncomfortable because she has a boyfriend.I got soo jelous but I couldn’t say anything. I just want to know how I get him to like me if I don’t want to make it obvious.
Just ask him for his number but make it casual and if he asks why just say I don’t know I just have everyone’s # then give a little quirk of a smile it should work if he gives it to you great!! If he hesitates give him a min but if he seams uncomfortable just say na nvm it’s fine or if he just says no and is a jerk u don’t need it
OH! Hey it’s jay again ;P on the part that if he was uncomfortable and you say “na nvm it’s fine” and he perks up and is like na it’s fine and dose give it to you than I can bet that he’s intrigued or is into u!! Hope it helped
hi, i think i am falling for a guy. well he is from india and working in Dubai. i met him once in dubai and we spoke. the thing is we both are apart from each other. i just want to understand that whether he feels for me the same way or its the other way around.
i am just waitng for him to be back. how should i react in front of him??
plz advise.
Mishu dear first think if u both are frm same religion than there is ni complication.
N try to spend ur most of time with him go with him at mamzer park,Dubai mall, pulm Dubai n etc many more place… By spndng most of his time with u he vl love ur nature go for n candle lite dinner.n dnt propose him.. wait till he propose.
N n most important think u better know his past n everything that how he is.all the best
I like a guy in my uni, but we’ve never really talked to each other. I tried to make eye contact with him and smile. I think by now, at least, he noticed I exist. I think he’s a bit intrigued by me, and he’s probably asking himself ‘is she interested?’. But I’m afraid if I don’t talk to him soon, he might lose interest and forget about me. Problem is, I’m too shy to start a conversation with him. He’s always surrounded by his friends and he’s never alone!
His best friend goes to the same class as me. Do you think I should talk to his friend first?
Or should I find ways to directly introduce myself to him?
I’d really appreciate your help, thanks.
What about in the case of a guy pursuing you and afterwards losing interest- possibly because you’ve shown too much interest?
Is is possible for this guy to regain interest in you again or would his mind be set on the fact that you’ve already been interested in him, decreasing the possibility of him showing interest again??
I’d very much like to know the answer to that myself. I’m in a similar boat and even though he said he’s interested and that he likes me, we went on a date, he introduced me to his friends and invited me over with my friend to meet him and his friend and we had fun. Ever since then he seems quite distant and rumours are spreading that he likes someone else. I confronted him about it yesterday but he denied ever liking her and apologised about being distant without me mentioning it. He said he’s been busy with other stuff. However.. Today she was going on how they talk all day and night when I can’t seem to get a reply for ages. Think the best choice here is leave the guy to it. Plenty fish in the sea and all that, right…? Except I can’t seem to do that so I was wondering if there is a way to make him more interested like he has to make the first move again. Help me out here please x
I like this guy in my class, sam, im not sure that he likes me im a little mean to everyone I don’t like to show my feelings. he Is a popular guy and me not so much im not unpopular but not stuck up either help me plz should I just continue to hide my feelings or show them without looking retarded I usally just try to get over the guys I like. im so confused plz help me im not good in relationships!!!@#$#$$@!
Hey there! So first off if you are not super nice to people I would focus learning how to be nice. I think until you figure that out you should not really concern yourself with things like crushes. A person who can’t love others can hardly expect others to love them back. You know the golden rule “treat others the way you want to be treated.”
I’m not saying that is always easy because some people are just not nice themselves and it is much easier to be mean to others first rather then risking getting hurt. However being hurt and fighting with LOVE rather then anger is a powerful and beautiful thing. It makes even the most unlovable person some how lovable.
As far as the crush goes don’t worry so hard on making him like you in a romantic way. If you can start treating others with respect and trying to respect him as a person then either 1) he’ll take notice of you or 2) someone else will. It also must be noted that when you have a crush on someone people tend to idealize that person.
Here is what I would do. Write a list of 10 traits that you want in a potential life partner. Nothing petty like “they have to have blue eyes.” Maybe there a certain qualities that are attractive but that is not a deal breaker. Write things like “is passionate about something” or “respects his family and other people.” There is nothing more attractive then a man who can lead but is also a great listener. In both areas I’m looking for the heart to take care of others. Stuff like that. Then as you get to know different kinds of guys you can be looking for those qualities. Let’s be honest looks can only go so far but a man’s character is what defines him.
Focus on those things instead of on this one guy. Good luck!
Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any helpful hints for inexperienced blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.|
Em hi I am a teenager no guy is ever interested in me I dress well and am cute but den no one still single all my friends start telling stories about their guys but den me am bad luck plzz help me and I need replz
Same happen to me guy here, am nt realy happy about nt having partner and when my friendz talking and discuse about their girl, i dnt feel happy. Pls let know each other more than this.. My name is YOUNG MAXBILLON HOLLYSTONE pls add ne on facebook and my phone number +2347014334411 i will be happy to know u with my sincerly heart
i dont know really what to do. i like a guy very much and he likes me too he said i love u and then we went to place and kiss but after few days he started ignoring me by saying i want to study i dnt wanna get fail in exams and lets do the breakup after i said do u love me he said i m confused and after long debate he said we ll talk once in week for few mins. i really dnt konw what to do i really love him pls help me out from this pls do reply asap
Dear. Just ignore the guy. Trust me it works. Had a similar experience
I met a guy that I’ve beend ating for about 3 months. We have been intimate. Two weeks ago, while enjoying a glass of wine, I asked him where we stood. He said because of the intimacy we stood somewhere between dating and friends with benefits. I asked him where he would like to be and he said he is content where we are. He also shared that he had had sex with one other person since we began dating. Hmmm. I was disappointed but glad that I asked and that he was honest. Now I’m not sure what direction to take. I don’t want a friend with benefits but not willing to live such a dangerous lifestyle. Advice?
#1: why are sleeping with someone whom is not your husband? Or someone you havent been dating for more than a year?
#2: why are you asking him “where do we stand” men HATE being asked that question LET him be one to ask that.
He said your friends with benefits? And youre telling us you dont know what to do? To be blunt, bitch you should k ow what to do RESPECT YOURSEL ENOUGH to step up and tell him you arent about that life, he will respect you MORE for saying that. Dont give him an ultimatmum
Calmly say “If you want to just be friends with benefits. Thats cool but I know I want a serious relationship. I see I made a mistake by sleeping with you.”he would see you as a strong admitting your mistakes and standing your ground. What makes players stay players for so long is because women always say “YES” not one says “NO” but until that one woman say “NO” ans stands her ground… He sees her as a Rare Gemstone, Matthew always talks about. Then hear what he has to say remain calm and positive. Now this where you put your words into action. Men are visual creatures ACTIONS speaks louder for them.
Cut him off. For a month If you say in touch with him youll end up sleeping with him DECREASING yout value as a woman. Trust me youll eaen a lot of self respect and he would. Look at you differently.
Start dating other men DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM until you have the committment you want. DO NOT HAVW THE SERIOUS TALK LET THEM DO IT.
That guy youre into is eeally going to find you attractive becausw hw knows that many women would just say “Yes” becauze they think “If I keep sleeping with him Ill change his mind and he will want to be with me” erm noooo not at all.
There not emotionally attachment there for him!
You need to also work on yourself, inside and out. Make new friends, meet new people post pictures so he can see kn social network. Make him see that other men are into etc… Im sure you see what I sent to some girl on here.
Also he will try to contact you to see test if you’d come over and ride that meat of his but NO YOU ARE GOING TO BE STRONG AND NOT REPLY TO HIM OR SEE HIM!
Try find that message I sent to someone naMe Ananya
Its too much to type but I still wanted to help! I hope I did
My problem.. Uff…I just cant handle it.. Plz help me.. M in lv with my cousin frm my childhood. Nw m in 10th std bt he lvs sm another girl.. Bt they got broke up neWht can I do to attract him.. I lv him so much :(
Have I gotten this correct… he is your cousin? Girl you have much bigger problems if you are trying to get something like that from someone your related to. I mean good luck to you and all but I would steer clear of that genetic disaster about to happen.
P.S. There are plenty of handsome people in the world. Stick around a while and you might just see them.
is i love a guy nd
i told him bt he said he likes me bt dere is no
future so he cnt do any committmnt …. my
frnds said ignore him he wll definatly cm 2 u bt
othr side i thoght if i ignore him may b he loose
da intrst in me ….
Also, you shouldnt tell a man you love him first, it should be him. Relationships are best when men pursue it NOT THE WOMAN. Men love to chased not be chased. If you chase them their ego would be massive and they will lose respect for you.
Also when dating never call the man FIRST let him do it. When in a relationship ONLY call the man if you missed his call, if he dont pick up leave it/only call a man if ylu missed the call and he left a voicemail then call back because its urgent.
I both agree and respectfully disagree with what you just said. On the one hand yes guys have a desire to protect and vanquish, and if there nothing to protect or vanquish then there is no need for them to put any effort in or give their heart. On the other hand a woman calling first is not the worst thing in the world. There needs to be a balance.
Now in response to “Ananya” I’m sorry that you said I love you and he rejected you. That sucks and you have every right to feel said. It’s what you do with all those feelings that count. As it has been said many times, “It’s better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.” Sometimes we put our cards on the table and it doesn’t go well. This might be one of those circumstances. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them. If you try and force something onto him that he doesn’t feel it will only create resentment on both sides. This is what I would do. 1) Accept that you are hurt and allow yourself to feel that pain. 2) Find some creative outlet and/ or a buddy to express your feelings. 3) Figure out how you can learn from this whole experience and use that passion to motivate you to move on and become a better you.
acknowledge – > deal with the feelings -> move on
Sometimes you have to deal with the feelings more the once. That is fine. You are not crazy for feeling things. How ever you do need to understand the difference between feelings and reality.
Example: Say I had a dog and didn’t feel like feeding it. If I listened to my feelings I wouldn’t feed the dog. But just because I don’t feel like feeding the dog doesn’t mean that I’m not going to feed it.
Hi! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok.
I’m definitely enjoying your blog annd look forward to
new posts.
agree ,but Men love drama they did not like beautiful girls only but they need drama i reading many tips and tricks about how to trigger so much love in a man and find a good course called The drama method it show you Brutal ways to tempt a man try it out after i read it & apply finally i succeed make him love me http://tiny.cc/yv30fx
Ok so here it is,I’m 14 I’m in 4H and at archery class I met one of the instructors he’s really cute he talks to me a lot and it seems like he always works with me there’s a few others my age but he’s always with me and only me he calls me by my name he smiles at me a lot he’s always watching me and we talk whenever we see each other and he always compliments me I’ve took a few tests and they say he likes me but I’m still not sure please help me!!!!!!
Iv dated a guy once back when i was 18, it was only for two weeks and then he broke it off. Now im 21 and cant get a guy to even look at me. Not to be full of myself but im pretty awesome lol Men ignore me. I go to parties and try to flirt with a guy and he will just talk around me to my friends, I even got jabbed in the jaw by a guy trying to get my friends attention. I get stood up on EVERY DATE, Im so lost! I dont know what im doing wrong. Im very clean , I always smell good. I love dressing up and wearing heels. Im nice and independent, major plus i have a job, house, car and no kids!
Can someone help?
Get interested in what’s inside – what they like, who their friends are – don’t just think about what’s good about you, concentrate on getting the most out of them. Guys get surprised by women who talk to them and engage with them intellectually and a good conversation is worth a thousand sultry touches in the very beginning. Learn a few fun questions – don’t think of it as flirting either, make a connection first, discover them, then follow up with a tease and contact. It works for me!!
Miranda, Is this instructor an adult or another student? Because adults are off limits to 14 year Olds. That would make him a pedophile. He could be charged and arrested ruining his life and possibly yours. Do not pursue adult men and do not be tricked into liking one in a sexual way. End of story.
I have a similar situation i like this guy who works at a local business he one of the security staff,he been giving me the eye for over a year,but a few months back
he spoke to me,then once he walked over on purpose topick something up and he turned smiled looking directly into my eyes said hi, and lingered a little,returned to his work, So i know he likes me and like him alot, but its his workplace hard to get to know someone there, i don’t want to be too forward,i prefer he be the one give me his number or ask for mine,What do i do? Also each girl,woman of every age that posted i hope you get your guy,the guy you want one we each deserve,someone that good to us.. Or please give me advie as well. thanks.
Hi,
Well I’m 15 years old and I really like this guy who I have known for ever. We grew up together and our parents are really close friends. When we were 12 we stopped talking that much and he became one of those ‘popular’ people and I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends but sometimes I wish that I’m still beside him like before.
When I was 13 that’s when I got a crush on him but I know he will never know and I can’t do anything because he is friends with so much better, prettier girls than me. This same crush has been going on for 2 years straight but it has grown stronger. I blush when I see him, I can’t talk properly if he asks me for an answer on a class and I can’t look at him without embarrassing myself in any way.
Whenever I try to tell my friends what I’m going through they always did a way to change the subject and I can’t tell anyone how I feel.
So yeah, I have no idea what to do as we NEVER talk unless it’s in a class and I NEVER see him either.
Hi . Since your parents are really close you can get your to have dinner with his parents so you can get a chance to talk to him….
Hi, we do go on a lot of holidays together but he hangs around my little brother and I’m forced to go with his little sister. Sometimes when we do talk he shows me videos of what tricks he has filmed (He’s into photography and trick stuff) and that’s about as far as it goes. Now adays we don’t really get a proper conversation but it does help that he rejects everyone his little sister pairs him up with:P
Thanks for the reply :)
Do a Ginny Weasley (reference from Harry Potter) and try to go out with other people. I mean you are young so don’t feel you have to be in a relationship if you’re not ready. Feel free to even focus on things like hobbies, sports, your education, and such. Basically if you can stop obsessing over him and start living then one of two things will happen. 1) He’ll take notice of you and see what an amazing person you are or 2) you’ll become so busy with other things that you’ll forget (at least to an extent) your crush on him. You might even meet someone else who you have more things in common with that you can have mutual feelings for. Good luck!
Hello, I have the same situation. I’m 15 years old and I’m like really close friends with a guy in my class, we get along very very well and he’s one of the popular guys in school, good looking and stuff so that kinda makes me feel like I have no chance to date him. We talk about everything and he calls and texts me everyday, he’s funny but really confident and kind (only if you are to him) I’m glad that we’re friends but, whenever his friends are around he never shows that he’s my best friend. he acts like he doesn’t know me, well sometimes he does but I get confused about that point.