I’ve found that one of the biggest confidence-killers in dating happens when we dwell on the reasons why someone may not be attracted to us. Whether we’re sensitive about our looks, our age, or even the fact that we have kids, the fear of rejection can sometimes stop us before we get started.

Angela’s story in this week’s video is one of the most impactful I’ve heard on this subject. I’m so excited for you to see it. If you want to feel more confident in dating (and in life!) you can’t miss this video!

Matthew: 

We all have our personal story about why we are going to struggle to find love, about why we have struggled to find love, about why it’s never going to happen for us in the future. 

And one of my favorite things to do is to dissolve those stories so that we can finally go out there and get what we deserve in this area. This is a story I wanted to show you that can give you hope and a new belief in your love life. 

As you watch this story with one of my favorite people in the world, I want you to think about the story you’ve been telling yourself about why you’re not going to find love. And see if by the end of this story, you don’t feel a little bit lighter with it. 

 

Matthew (at prior Retreat):

And there was this one person on this program (Live Retreat) who called me up a couple of months back because she’d had some things happen in her life since that program. And when she made that call, I heard it and I went, “You’ve gotta come back. You’ve gotta come back. And I need you to tell other people what you’ve done, because wow.”

And so she came back this time. And I’m going to bring her up here. And we’re just going to spend five minutes just talking about what she has done since, because her story is a very, very interesting one and so relevant to all of us. 

So, Angie, where are you? Oh, there she is. Okay. Give it up for Angela, everybody. How you doing? 

 

Angela:

Now, that was eight or 10 years ago now?

 

Matthew:

Wow, was it that long ago?

 

Angela:

Yeah, and I haven’t aged a bit.

 

Matthew:

You haven’t. 

So you came on that program. And I remember, maybe a good place to start is I know there was a big event in your life. Let’s fill people in on that, because I feel like that gives us context for everything we’ll say after that.

 

Angela:

So as you can see, or you may not be able to see, I wear a prosthetic. And quickly, my story is that I was 23 and I was making my way home from work and life was great. I was with friends, I had the job I loved, and in a moment, everything changed. I sadly was hit by a drunk (and drug) driver. And when he hit me in a van at 70 miles per hour, I was injured for life. 

The injuries I have now happened at that moment. And the hardest thing was when my leg was taken from the impact of the vehicle, the driver stood over me and he walked away. 

And this is what led me to Matthew, because being in hospital and getting told, “You’re injured, you’re not going to walk again, you’re not going to live independently again . . . We don’t know if you’re going to be able to eat by yourself or dress yourself.”

I defied that. I made sure when I left the hospital that I would walk again. I walked in crutches, but that was good enough. But my self-worth was on the ground. And there was nothing around me and there was nothing there that showed me how to put that together. So I went onto YouTube and saw one of Matthew’s earlier videos. I mean that in a nice way, of course, and he was in a park in . . . was it London? 

 

Matthew:

Yeah. It was in Berkeley Square. And I remember the video . . . nowadays we have Jameson, but then, I was sat on a bench just filming myself. And it wasn’t on an iPhone. It was on like an old Sony camera. 

 

Angela:

And it was about core confidence. And I knew . . . I read what confidence was, you know, you read in the magazines or your friends tell you, “Be more confident.” 

But I knew my confidence was on the ground more than most, because the thought that was left with me was, “How am I worthy if somebody could walk away and leave me?” So I clicked on the video. I watched it. I wrote every word down: what core confidence is, what the levels are . . . I’ve done the same as you guys and I still do the same thing. I watched the videos. I learned everything from it. 

And one of the biggest things that you ladies have taught me is we share the same thing. We just get what you’re saying, Matthew. So I went on your website. You were doing an event down in London and it was about confidence, wasn’t it? 

And then I went to speak to Matthew, and again, he was bouncing from one side to the other. And it was amazing and the ladies I met there are the ladies who went to the Retreat in Florida. And we’re still friends to this day. The journey that we’ve experienced, we’re still experiencing, and I’m still tapping into Matthew’s work today because I still want to go to that next level.

 

Matthew: 

So that kind of brings us to the Retreat, because I remember a very specific moment on the Retreat that you reminded me of. At the home in Florida where we held it, there was a mini movie theater. And Angela pulled me to one side and said, “Hey, you know, let’s have a chat.”

We went into the movie room. We sat down, one-on-one, and she . . . and you can tell me if I’m paraphrasing correctly, but you had mentioned to me that when you were on a date, the monologue that was constantly going through your mind was, “He’s not going to want me because I’m missing a limb.”

 

Angela:

Pretty much, yeah.

 

Matthew: 

What happened next?

 

Angela:
Before you got to that point, we sat in silence, and you said, “I’m going to sit here until you tell me what it is.” And I sat there and then I crossed my arms in defiance. I was like, “I’m not saying,” and I couldn’t say, because I felt so sad about that. I couldn’t say it because it’s a guy sitting in front of me, like, can I say the one thing that’s on my mind? 

And you just sat defiantly and you were like, “We’re going to sit here all day.” It was like . . . that pain. My Scottish stubbornness was coming out quite badly. And in my head, I was thinking, “He has to see other ladies. So the more you sit there, the more you’re stopping him from going to talk to the ladies and allow them to have their moment and to talk about things.”

But I just sat. I just couldn’t see it. And then you said, “There’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” Just like you’ve said this week. And I said it. I think I blurted it out.

And you, Matthew, just said, “And what?”

Just those simple words, “And what?” and all the things I’d been carrying with myself was like, “Oh, you’ve been carrying this? You’ve built up this big picture.” And it was like, “And what?”

 

Matthew:

I remember saying to you . . . I remember looking at you and saying, “How arrogant are you?” You remember that?

 

Angela:

I started laughing, yeah. Cause I would never have thought of it that way.

 

Matthew:

I said, “How arrogant are you? And you went like this . . .” (Big eyes)

And then after, like, 30 seconds, you just died laughing.

And as you were laughing, I said, “What? You need everyone to want you? Like everyone you go on a date with has to fall in love with you and choose you? No one can reject you? Who are you? No one’s allowed to say, ‘I don’t want you’? How arrogant is that?”

And you started laughing and said, “I know, that is arrogant!” And it was this . . . this moment that . . . I remember that moment because of the phone call that you gave me. 

By the way, I also remember a moment where we were in the kitchen . . . ?

 

Angela:

Also, just to give you a heads-up here, this is pretty much the first time I’m wearing a skirt with my legs out.

It was my mom at the back, and some of you might know my special story with my mom . . . she’s always given me the confidence to get out there and share it. And here I am. But I’m digressing. So when I went to Florida, it was all about long dresses, and some thin cardigan to hide my arm. And I thought it was like a fashion statement I was going with, but looking back, I was actually covering up—covering insecurities, covering everything I could possibly do. And that morning, I went down to the kitchen, and I’m trying to catch up with everybody else. And remember Steve’s in the kitchen. I remember Matt’s mum’s at the top of the table making sure everybody’s okay, and Matthew came down and I just went (whoosh). I fell and my skirt went up. 

And I was like, “Oh no, hopefully my pants don’t show.”

But I was more worried about my leg showing. I was more worried about that insecurity—that thing you were talking about this week, Matthew. The thing that’s holding you back, the thing you don’t want to talk about, the thing that’s just there.

But when you start talking about it . . . oh my God, your life will go like this (expansive arms). It’s taken me . . . since the Retreat, 10 years. I took on this stuff and then I kind of debated, like I’ll take this little bit, but maybe not that little bit. I’ll take this little bit maybe not that little bit. Some of it worked, some of it didn’t, and as time was going on, I was like, “Yeah, this is taking a bit longer than everybody else.” And then I thought, “Let’s just do all of it.” And with all of it, again, my life opened up. And this story was the recent phone call that I shared with you. 

 

Matthew: 

So tell everyone what you told me, because this was one of the greatest phone calls I’ve had in these last two years.

 

Angela:

Could I share something about your mum before that? So when I fell, and made kind of a scene, she came over to me and she picked me up, and she could see that I had spilled something on my dress. And she said, “You go upstairs, get dressed, come back down, and I’ll wash your dress.” 

She washed my dress by hand and she hung it up, and just by doing that little thing, like, feeling embarrassed and feeling so awkward, just by that beautiful action that she’d done, and it’s not a big deal, but it touched me and it still touches me to this day.

And as Matthew says, that’s who his mum is, and the next day I wore the dress again because of his mum, so thank you. I’m digressing, sorry. So the thing was, leading up to this information I was going to share with Matthew was. . . 

The Get the Guy techniques . . . the techniques that he shares with you today . . . if that was me 10 years ago, and this is now, your life is going to be even better than mine.

I met a guy, and the first date was good. We met for a couple hours, caught up. On the second date, as Matthew said, I just put it all on the table. Just told him. Got it over and done with. 

And I was so worried when I was going to tell this guy what my accident was and what scars I’ve got and what I wear. And he turned around and he said the same thing as Matthew: “And what?”

I knew then that this was the man for me. Was it because of what Matthew said that this man had said this? Probably. But also what Matthew had taught me about myself.

When I was sharing this with my date, I remember before meeting up with him, thinking, “If he doesn’t like me for who I am, then stuff it. Like, I’ll just keep going. My worth doesn’t depend on that.”

So the Get the Guy stuff, that works. And if I’m standing here and you can see what I wear, my scars, the insecurities . . . any insecurities you’ve had, I’ve had it. Seen it. Done it. Got the picture. If I can get that, you can certainly get that. 

And then a few months later, we went to St. Andrews, which is a beautiful place in Scotland. So we went on holiday and he booked the honeymoon suite and no one had ever done that for me and I was like, “Wow, this is amazing.” 

He said, “Oh, it just so happened that at the hotel, this was the only room they had.”

I was like, “Wow, amazing.”

And then we went out for something to eat and he’s really nervous. He was shaking and at one point, he literally said, ‘You want to try this?” And when he was holding it toward me, it went and hit someone. It was that bad and I was thinking, “I’ve still got it.”

And in St. Andrews, it’s a beautiful place up there, beautiful scenery, and I was like, “Yeah, let’s walk under the stars. Beautiful.”

And then he said, “Close your eyes, I’ve got a surprise for you.” 

And I was like, “Okay.” And I’m closing my eyes and it’s five minutes later and I’m thinking, “I’m going to get murdered.” I’m thinking the worst. 

And walking on sand with heels and a prosthetic leg is really difficult. So I’m going down to the sand and I’m trying to walk sexy, but slipping, but he thought it was cute. It wasn’t really. And then I just was like, “Wow, this is so beautiful. And look at everything you can see,” and then I said, “What are you doing down there?” And he proposed and six months later we were married. Because of you.

I’ve got two more things to share. Just don’t want to take all your time up.

 

Matthew:

You can run the day today.

 

Angela:

I think my nerves have kind of disappeared now because I’m super excited now that I’m sharing this with you girls. You see, all week, I’ve wanted to tell you things. I’ve wanted to come and sit with you, but I’ve kind of had to stay a wee bit closed in case I slipped up and shared this. Cause I’m a bit of a gab.

So another thing that I shared with Matthew was my story. The thing I couldn’t speak about, the thing that caused me the most torment, the thing I was scared about, again this thing that was holding me back . . . Matthew got it out of me. 

I’ve now started my own charity (https://triumphoverinjury.com/home) and I now help families and children who have been harmed by drunk and drug drivers. But I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I hadn’t experienced the Retreat. 

I wouldn’t have experienced that if I hadn’t listened to the wonderful elephant presentation here. Or Matthew’s mum’s love and affection . . . like, the way that she has with people. I am like that now when I go and visit families, you know, just with a touch. And my beautiful mum in the corner as well, like her kindness and compassion and beauty and always being there for me. You know, I feel very lucky. 

But it took all this time to get here. I need to show you something. So one of the saddest things about being in the accident was being told that, “This is not going to happen for you. You’re not going to have your life.”

It’s like Matthew was talking about . . . the moment you imagine looking back at your life, and you don’t have the people around you or you don’t have the things that you want. And I was told because of the severity of my injuries that I was never going to have a child. 

Imagine that you’ve always wanted to have a family and have a child, and to have that taken away from you . . . 

How do you console yourself? I didn’t think I could, and luckily I’ve got the love of my lovely husband now and things like that, but Matthew wanted me to come out and talk at Christmastime, and sadly, I had to go back into hospital for another operation. And my operation . . . it was really hard . . . in fact, it was life-changing. 

I want you to see what your love and care during the Retreat has brought . . . 

So we’ve got a wee baby girl now. 

I hope nobody told you and spoiled the surprise.

Matthew:

How did you not tell me that on the phone?

Angela:

It was really hard. I did say to you I had work, and I did have work, but I didn’t know if it would be safe to travel and all that.

Matthew:

What’s her name?

Angela:

Hannah. And she’s so cute.

It’s like sometimes I look at her and I just think, “Wow, I carried you. Amazing.”

What I want to share with you, and I hope you can all hear this . . . Like, if you’re coming to the Retreat or doing the Get the Guy thing and you’re thinking, “I’m just not getting it. I don’t have my goals or I don’t have this . . .” Or you may be thinking, “This is what I want to do.” 

It’s funny how things just change. But they’ve changed because you’ve had this experience, and I’m not any different from you. My scars are different, my life experiences are a bit different. But I’m just like you, I’m just one of the girls. And I came from Scotland, two flights away, I dragged my mum here, she’s now sunburned. Sorry, sorry, it’s a lovely suntan. 

I came this week because I want to tell you that this works. I was trying to think of a beautiful quote or something like that. But it’s simply that this works. There’s no sugarcoating it. There’s no putting a pretty bow on it. If you want your life to be better . . . sometimes I started out thinking I wanted to go in this direction, then this took me to this direction. 

But I have fulfillment in my life in all areas. I know that I’m going to have dips, but I’ve got tools now. I feel boosted and I’ve got even more tools for my self-esteem and my confidence. 

But I know what I’ve learned from you, I’m going to teach Hannah. And what an amazing little girl she’s going to turn into.

So I want to say thank you for listening. Thank you, Pauline. Thank you, Steve, for your amazing elephant. And of course my mum. I love you. But the trailblazer . . . Matthew. Thank you.

 

Matthew:

Ladies, please can we . . . because Angela did not need to come here this week, but she has for us. Can we please give her a huge round of applause?

Give it up for Angela, everybody!

I will always remember having coached Angela. She remains one of my dear friends today. Here’s where you can go and support Angela’s cause if you want to (https://triumphoverinjury.com/home), because she’s doing amazing work right now alongside bringing up her beautiful family.

If you want to go through the same process that transformed Angela’s life, you have that opportunity in just three weeks. This I think is pretty much the final call for the Live Retreat in 2023. It’s happening from the 9th of October until the 15th. It’s the same six-day process—albeit improved over many years—that Angela went through that changed her life and enabled her to find love. 

And you can now experience it for yourself. Go to MHRetreat.com to get your space now. We’re down to the last handful, so this is it. Don’t lose any more time. Come join us and we’ll see you in Florida in just a few weeks.