Knowing how to attract men can be summed up in three areas, which we will cover in this article. The easiest way to attract men is to get rid of your “needy vibe” that comes across as desperation.
Unfortunately men can pick up on the signs, but the good news is there are many things you can do about it which means that before you know it, you will have attractive men throwing themselves at you just by applying some simple tips.
How to attract men without the rejection part…
Learning how to be attractive to men doesn’t always involve rejection, women seem to believe that men will somehow reject them if they speak to them or attempt to ignite some attraction. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, men are more shocked that anything else – so use this to your advantage and start chatting to the guys you like, who knows you could find love in the strangest places.
Being desperate doesn’t attract men
Desperation stems from feeling out of control in a situation, and is comes from the panic you feel when you put too much importance on finding a man.
The trick to attracting men is to make sure you value all the other areas of your life (for example your job, your family, your friends, your hobbies, etc) just as highly as you value having a man in your life.
Keeping an equal weighting on every area makes you a more interesting person and a better conversationalist.
It will make you feel more confident about yourself and more laid back in social situations which is attractive to any man!
When women feel desperate, they do this…!
Many women who come across to men as being desperate have a tendency to approach a man or walk into a relationship thinking 6 months ahead.
Unfortunately men can sense this expectation a mile away and it terrifies them! What men want isn’t the same as women, so you need to understand their needs from an emotional standpoint.
When thinking about how to attract men, don’t forget that they do not want to feel like your happiness lies in their hands or that you are living your life through them.
Take pro-active steps towards your own projects on a daily basis which will help you not to panic about the future and keep the feeling of being in control.
Signs of desperation that really don’t attract men
We’ve interviewed many men on what women do that makes them look desperate when they are out and why that is such a turn off.
You may already be aware of a number of these, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of them! Firstly, when you’re out with your friends do not laugh excessively at every joke men make, dance too sexily or get too drunk!
You don’t want to look like you are trying too hard to impress!
When you are talking to a man stay calm and don’t feel the need to talk too much.
There is no need to iron out the awkward silences, as there is nothing wrong with conversational pauses so let the lulls occur and give him time to think.
Also, take care not get caught talking about your past relationships (this is where staying sober can help)!
The quickest solution to finding a man really is to focus on handling the other areas of your life and having a lifestyle that you really enjoy. When you do this, you’ put yourself in control of your own happiness and will effortlessly attract great men into your life.
So there you have it, understanding how to attract men in any situation really comes down to not being so needy, so watch out for that. Incidentally, if you want to know more practical tips for getting his attention from the moment you see him, take a look at my post: How To Get A Guy To Notice You.
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Loved this post! x
I *never* thought I was the “desperate” type–but when I read this I realized how desperate I must look to guys! Ugh! I have some work to do for sure.
What an eye-opener, i hate it when men act desperate with me and yet when I like I guy sometimes I can act so desperate around them and its so true that its caused by panic, from now on all panic is banished!
I need to understand how I appear to guys and what I need to do to create attraction. Help! I can see how I would be in the category of appearing needy. Help!
This is great! I know these in my head, but when I get around a guy I like everything flies out the window and I start acting desperate. Going to print this out and follow it with the guy i’m seeing now!!!
Wonderful post! I think if I could have applied this wisdom from a younger age I would not have all the relationship problems I’ve been experiencing again and again. Thanks for helping me feel there is definitely a way to not feel desperate, now I have hope. Jean X
This is a great post. I have always noticed when I would go out with some of my friends how their behavior would change around men. I always tried to tell them to relax.I definitely agree about the not talking about your exes. Not only have I heard my friends do it, but I used to have this problem too. Great advice. Love the post. I am sharing this with all my girl friends.
question? what is your opinion on online dating?
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Control is really the key here: control of yourself and your reactions to others may sound simple, but it’s very difficult to master. Having high self-esteem and confidence – without over-stepping into arrogance! – is a very attractive trait to any man.
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I’ve been absolutely blessed to have been watching Rachael Ray when Matt was a guest on the show. I signed up for emails the same hour his segment finished airing. Though I never signed up for the thorough and elaborate step by step process, I’ve learned quite a bit about myself as well as how others and men perceive me. After leaving my husband of 6 years (not long but long enough), I had men asking me out one after the other. Six guys in a four week period wanted to date ME! ME, of all people. I declined five out of the six because I didn’t NEED a man, nor every date possible. The only one I didn’t decline is such a wonderful, caring, and handsome ;) man that values me. For once, I’ve found someone that brings as much to the table as I do. I was a very clingy, disgustingly desperate feeling woman in the beginning, but I’ve discovered that I AM VALUABLE just as I am. I’m a slightly heavy woman, not obese, but curvy, and I’m with the most fit, trim, gorgeous, kindhearted, and romantic man I’ve ever met. He’s nearly straight from a romance novel. If I hadn’t found you, Matt, I’m sure I would still be the same lonely and needy woman that I once was. Thank you for everything.
I’d also like to add that I’m not only commenting on this, but on every article I’ve read and video that I’ve watched.
Does sending a facebook message to a random guy you just met in person look really desperate? I decided to take the plunge, and he replied but I’m still worried I look ‘desperate’. How do I play it cool?
really helpful.
Hi ! I love my tutor very much i dont knw
What to do so that he get attract with me and
He start liking me…. plz help me
Hey! There’s this guy I REALLY like, and I know he is attracted to me as well. The only problem is that he is also attracted to some other girl, and has hundreds of others clamoring to take our places. I need to be the center of his attention, but I don’t know how! Please help me!
I really like a boy, but i think he loves another girl… he claims to like me. Please reply to me i would like him to be wanting me and deeeeply in love with me x i love him
Hiya sounds to me hes keeping his options open sweetheart. Maybe use Matthews methods whilst maintaining tour own life and show him what you are all about for e.g. youre fun outgoing independent etc. Be interested but not so keen-keen. Dont make mistakes like me who used to tell men that i was interested in them and the inevitable rejection used to happen. Good luck x