This is a question that is becoming more relevant in our society with the rise of social networking and its place in our everyday lives. The way in which new social media has infiltrated daily routine mean that never before has it been so easy to casually browse the social/professional/family lives of our exes 24/7.
The boundaries have shifted, and the click of a mouse is now the only thing that stands in our way of re-opening that bridge of communication with someone whom you have shared intense experiences with.
Is getting back with your ex boyfriend a good or bad idea?
Sparing a few seconds to think about an old flame is one of the most ubiquitous thought processes that occurs in the male and female mind, but why do we do it? What possible desire or use is there to be had by looking back? Well some of us simply haven’t gotten over the fact that that last relationship is indeed over.
This can indeed be an unpleasant place to be in, and I have witnessed first hand the needy, insecure effects this can have. Whatever golden age of communication we are currently, or will ever be in, opening contact in this state of mind clearly has its own pitfalls, however casual and laid back we think it may seem.
In my experience there are several positive reasons as to why we think about finished relationships:
- Shared emotion –Just because the relationship is finished, it doesn’t mean all those happy, intimate experiences you shared when you were a couple didn’t happen. By definition, entering a relationship is a decision based on the back of good memories and enjoying another’s company.What’s more, these happy memories are the ones that shimmer on the surface when you think back to time spent with your ex, as the negative experiences often fade or dull with time. We can start to think of an ex in the same way we thought of them when we first met them, which can lead to unexpected surge of affection or desire.
- Familiarity – So many pitfalls face the new couple these days, indeed the rise of social networking has made maintaining a private life free from pictures, social timetabling, relationship statuses and the like an active rather than a default process.With this in mind answer this question: In our daydream where we toy with the possibility of re-entering a relationship, does being back with that ex ever feel like a ‘new’ relationship? In my experience the answer is no, and reaching this place of mutual comfort and respect with a partner is something that is not in present in every relationship, making us value those that do have them, even if they were in the past.
- Risque – The intense experiences shared with an ex are varied as they are many, and some people will re-live most the comfort and security of sharing a mutual bond with a person who they are attracted to, whereas some will re-live the passionate and intimate moments most. These people may not necessarily think of a relationship when they think of an ex, they may think of re-kindling fiery sexual experiences.
The biggest reasons why you might want to
There are many reasons as to why we may feel that we would want to get back in contact with an ex, so in this age of having instant communication available to us 24/7, have the rules changed and is it more acceptable to do so? It certainly is less of social taboo to do so these days, especially when we think back to 20 years ago when re-establishing even the most casual form of contact meant calling up their home phone line.
A photo comment, an invite to a common friend’s gathering, a simple “happy birthday! X” can all suffice to do the same job as that heavy phone call; re-opening contact.
Additionally photo albums and access to people’s relationship statuses all serve to give us even more information as to whether contact would be likely to be met with a favourable response. Crucially, contact can be perceived to be so much more casual and off-the-cuff, defusing any nerves or desperation that could be present if you were to bump into your ex on the street.
Before you sign in to Facebook or think about re-tweeting a comment…
Whilst access to our past relationships has become easier with the rise of different social tools, the rules have only changed in relation to exactly that: the tools of communication.
The rules of good old person to person contact will never change. Sure the good memories stand out, but there were definitely bad ones, hence the finishing of the relationship. And no matter how casual we may sound when inviting an old flame for a casual cup of coffee when you happened to be near their office some day, if the whole thing was planned and you’re a nervous wreck desperate to manipulate any social tool available to us just to see your ex, then that will come across pretty quickly upon a meeting in person!
The bottom line is that this situation is different for everyone. If you happen to have moved on from your past relationships and indeed engaged in new ones only to realise upon long reflection that you never recaptured what you had with your ex, then sure, using the ever changing array of social tools available to re-open contact is now easier than ever before. If however, you still feel like or indeed have just been dumped and are desperate to ‘get your ex back’ then the same old rules apply, and bombarding your ex with unrequited messages of love will still not bring them back, with or without today’s technology.
Certain signs of attraction from a guy and little hints can be enough for you to fully understand if he still likes you and wants to get back with you, so watch out for those.
hi!
please I was with a lady for 6yrs and she ended up with me and went for another guy. the guy she went into date with also broke up with his lady at the same time. I then propose the lady and I’m with her now. unfortunately for my ex girlfriend, she has ended up with the guy she went with. now the guy is contacting my lady who used to be his lady always, so now I don’t know what to do. should I continue with my relationship or I should forget about it? please I need a reply. thanks.
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Country, Sweden
My Husband broke up 6 months ago and left me heartbroken, this made me sick and my problem became very very difficult and it made me almost gave up but after the love spell from Dr.mack, my relationship was restored instantly, I was happy that the outcome was fantastic, only 3 days after Dr_mack@yahoo. com started it all. Never in my life have I thought this would work so fast. My man reconcile with me and he started acting completely different, I feel happy once again, and like never before. It felt so good to have my lover back again?
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Hey,
Love the blog. I recently broke up with my ex. He was a kind, caring, guy with a great personality. I didn’t stick by his side though because he has a few mental problems. He loves me so much though, and he just wants to show that he is apologetic and that he cares.
Hi Matt,
I met a guy through work, I’m an interior designer and he’s a client and we’re both from different countries. We both were attracted to each other from the moment we saw each other. He started flirting and hanging out. He even asked for permission to do so as its not professional. As we gpt comfortable woth each other,he started sharing his personal pictures, the activities he liked, things about his family. I also reciprocated as it felt nice. We even spent time together setting up the building and had many special romantic moments. We had tremendous chemistry.
However as time came nearer for him to leave the country (after 1 year of our work together), he started to distance himself slowly. On asking him, he said its not professional that we be together, and I mentioned that it was him who started this. When we met he said a relationship between us would not work as he is moving back, he got a new job.
So we broke up from whatever we had between us. I sent him a good bye note and changed my work to be independent, so I wouldn’t have to deal with his emails and not let work be a reason to be in or get out of a relationship.
In this no contact period (4-6 days in), he has started emailing me on my personal email. He is asking me for my plans and says he can help. He says he wants my collections for his own home.
Matt, please help me on what to say to him and how I should react to this man. He does feel something for me as he used to say we make such an amazing team. But I want us to be together for the right reasons and not for work.
Looking forward to your reply as I couldn’t find answers to handle a situation like this in any of your programs that I subscribed to.
Thanks, Sal
I already bought your guide. Does your guide get back to your ex also count after only 4 months relationship? We went pretty fast with everything… Too fast maybe. Even though I communicated this at the beginning, he was the one who wanted it that fast and said I love you maybe too soon. and now he says he is happy to be a little bit alone and he needs space and time and is not ready for a relationship. Friends of mine say that when a guy says this after only a few months relationship, a break for three or four weeks will only teach him that it is really better and healthier to be alone. That for him it will be a relaxed way of going out of the relarionship.it was very intense with us. Today he said that maybe when he solved some.problems in his life, we could start at new. And that we went to fast. But as my friends say… I believe a break is just a way for a relaxed getting out. Thanks
Well I made friends with my ex, and I’m literally confused by him we both have moved on despite me not having a partner, I see him every couple of months & he keeps telling me his new girlfriend is a nutcase & moans how he can’t finish with her, he even asked me once to go to his without his girlfriend knowing, but I look on his girlfriends fb page & everything is fine between them, I just told him to sort it out & do whatever is best for him, I don’t wanna b involved in his new relationship troubles if there are any? His the 1 who finished with me, he said till we get things sorted? Which meant till when? Then he texts me 2 months after breaking my heart asking for sex, ( he claims his friend did it behind his back) obviously I said no u ignored me for months , we met up to sort it out & became friends, he even asked me to tell his new girlfriend what a nice guy he is to have as a boyfriend obviously he hasn’t told his girlfriend he dated me but how can I tell his girlfriend what his like as a boyfriend when according to her I haven’t dated him ? And how can I when he keeps telling me he wants to finish with her? I mean I’ll admit his fairly attractive but I have enough common sense to not get involved with him ever again, but I’m just wondering is he trying to get with me behind her back or just make me jealous? All his done is make me feel paranoid about the whole situation.
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REAL AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL THAT WORK FAST AND EFFECTIVELY email him at doctor0lovespell
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Hello everyone i know there is someone somewhere reading this, I want to share a great work of a spell caster called Dr 0Love my husband and i had a fight which led to our divorce but when he left me a part of me left with him and i was too sad and cried all day and night i was searching something online when i saw people testifying about Dr 0Love great work and i just decided to give him a try i did everything he told me to do and he assured me that after 24 hours my husband will come back to me, the next morning to my greatest surprised a car stopped outside my house and it was my husband i’m so happy he can also help you email him at doctor0lovespell@gmail. com
My life became better after my ex came back to me within 48 hours through the help of priest Ukodo contact him on google mail at ukodosolutiontemple at google mail and testify of his great works that last forever
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Hi Matthew, I always find advice of what to do when your partner doesn’t want to commit – wait/not wait/how to behave… but what if the partner is struggling with her family accepting the new relationship so she is in the middle of a limbo herself (knowing she loves the boyfriend) but if at the time, the boyfriend says look find out what you need and I might be here or not when you decide, is not helpful. What advice can you give this person because generally I find always advice for other other one. Many thanks for your help
My name faith i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to Dr ogboni who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to Dr igbalu and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address:ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com , you can still contact me through my email to know more about him.this is my email adress:ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com.
Name:faith
Country USA
My Name is Janet Brown
I want to testify of the good work of Dr Odumdu who helped me in achieving the thing i never thought i was going to have again. i was in a relationship for 4yrs with my boyfriend and everything was going so sweet i loved him and i believed him loved me more than anything in this world after a while i noticed some changes in him so i knew something was wrong i tried to please him in several was but yet no outcome.shortly i noticed he was seeing another girl i tried to make him understand that i loved him so much but he wouldn’t even listen.one day i read a testimony on a similar case a person testifying of the work of this great Dr Odumdu even when i did not believe i was convinced by my boyfriend so i contacted him and let him know all my problems and him said i should not worry myself that everything will be okay for me and just like him said in 2days my lover was back to the man i know before thanks to you great Dr Odumdu so if you are going through a similar problem like this just contact him i guarantee you he will help you here is his email:landofsolution@gmail.com or call +2347053319835
My Name is Alice Hans from USA; I contacted Dr. Dele Spiritual Temple because someone that I loved the most suddenly left me. I have always been the one that has been hurt. I knew that when I first met him, he was the one I have always been looking for. For some reason he’s been holding on to the pain from a past relationship. Dr. Dele so far has been in contact with me every day and has decided that he will take my case personal. He told me that I and my guy were very well matched and he will help clear his mind from all the negativity. He did all that and now we are now both happy together again. Thank you Dr. Dele. Thank you for choosing my case and restoring back my love. E-mail: drossuva@gmail.com
My daughter get back to me and tell me now much you can come up with so that i can cast the spell.