The compassionate friend in me has asked my friend if she’s ok or how she’s feeling when I can tell she’s bothered by how he talks to her. But she just says it’s ok we are stressed right now, he doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t allow much deeper conversation into it. I’m sure she has felt tired of it, is saddened, and probably feels like she’s doesn’t know how to fix it. I can be very compassionate and see how stress works of marriage and family can play a role in stress but it’s doesn’t excise the behavior. My best friend loves him and is happy she always says so I just let her know I’m here to talk because I notice when it’s bothering her.

I know I can set better standards and tell them that I will be leaving when they argue because it’s uncomfortable, yet; they have such high expectations of me to come to all family events because I’m the godmom.

Honestly, I felt so relieved when I texted my friend that I’m not coming to the 4th of July party BUT I realize that’s such a cop out and a distraction from me needing to have a difficult conversation with her to set a standard. I just feel like… If I set a standard, then I’m basically saying that the way she chooses to be in a relationship is an inconvenience to my emotions which is something I need to look at deeper. It’s how I’m responding to these situations that is the true problem. They will have the relationship that they are going to have but it doesn’t mean that I need to partake in the uncomfortability of it.

So, Matthew. How can I still remain in my best friends life as her kids godmother and show up more compassionately without loosing my friend because I cannot stand being around her and her husband because they fight all the time?

HELP!

P.S this video was truly on form and so deep! Thank you… and I will watch it again because I can probably answer this question, or parts to it at least. .

I am curious, will you trademark the term unique pairings, one day? I have been teaching your UP concept at work, and I talk about it a lot in my circle because to me, besides it being brilliant, it’s a hidden ingredient to magic!

To answer your question, one dark pairing that I had was unconditional love + soft boundaries. It’s a pairing that exposed me to narcissistic abuse in all areas in my life. My unconditional love turned to enablement. Yet, I wasn’t aware because how I was culturally raised and my nature was to love people first that myself

One dark pairing I have commonly seen in my romantic connections was fear + lack of bravery. Such a deadly combination for someone like myself who is love based and brave. Such a pairing became a blockage because we were coming from opposites energy frequencies. Completely out of alignment, was a universal lesson that I wanted to make into something more

What I have learned is that someone who comes from fear, will let their insecurities, worries and unhealed past trauma gear them. Those who aren’t brave, aren’t people who will break generational cycles, speak up, have self awareness or take action

I see it as the big umbrella pairing and then, it manifesting to the detailed examples you provided in the video

Have you noticed that someone’s dark pairing relates to our unhealed dark pairing? They could also be mirroring things we need to work on, in some cases. Perhaps they are more connected to each other than we think

In my situation, my unconditional love and soft boundaries at the time, were two of the main things that contributed to my pain and unhealthy situations. They also made the connection into a project, than a castle two people were building

Thank you for talking about the UP, and for introducing the dark pairing concept. I am adapting them both in my yearly audit of my connections

Keep creating magic!