Comments on: Scared of Him Losing Interest After Sleeping Together? WATCH THIS https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/ Have The Love Life You Want Mon, 16 Sep 2024 22:23:10 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 By: Jenna Huggins https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1226170 Mon, 16 Sep 2024 22:23:10 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1226170 So where is the script he promises at the beginning? Says he will give a script to say to someone in the video and there isn’t one. I also have purchased things that didn’t have things that he promised either smh

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By: Victoria https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1187993 Sat, 03 Jun 2023 07:20:28 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1187993 I might add after my last lengthy post, I have not been intimate with a man for 13 years and simply haven’t been interested in anyone until he walked into my life.

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By: Victoria https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1187992 Sat, 03 Jun 2023 07:06:55 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1187992 Hi Matt
I’m hurting and confused right now. I have read and listened to your blogs so I absolutely know this guy, who is all the things you warn us of; player, non committal, non empathetic, is probably no good for me but he stepped into my orbit 6 months ago and I fell hard for him.
You might be surprised to know we are both mid to late 50’s but we are both very fit, in good shape and in the same sporting clubs etc. For me I never thought I would feel this way at this time in my life. In fact I don’t remember ever feeling this way.
Most of our ‘relationship’ is via messenger. I don’t push, I don’t demand or cling, I have a life of my own and get out there and live it, as he does.
I know there are other women but I don’t mention them and show no jealousy. And yes (pathetically) I do hope somehow he will see me as something special over and above the others and worth holding onto.

You’re probably shaking your head right now but there’s more to come!!!

So today, down the beach, we had sex for the first time. It wasn’t the best because of the sand and general discomfort but it gets better.

Some years ago I had breast cancer and had a mastectomy (only 1 breast). I never told him. To be frank, I didn’t actually think we would ever get to that position and it wasn’t something I just wanted to blurt out. Even today I didn’t expect us to go there.

So, I was very self conscious and awkward throughout. We were on the beach so most of our clothes were still on but I was wearing a sports bra and had to be careful (I have a prosthetic) plus I kept pushing his hand away from that side.

When I got home I knew I had to say something but I knew I couldn’t actually verbally tell him so I wrote it in a message, adding that 3 previous reconstructions failed for various reasons but he has given me the will to try for a 4th.

Because he’s non empathetic his brief response was dismal but in essence, “there is no probs and yes be strong and give it another go. You actually have nothing to lose”.

There is nothing online anywhere I can find for this situation.

I can hear everyone screaming at me but its not that easy when you feel for someone the way I do (he knows I care about him but he does not know nor will I tell him the extent). I usually make any messages to him light, fun and non demanding or clingy at all.

The problem I have now is that I am afraid I will lose him completely. Not only did I have sex with him (yes I wished I had have walked away after we went sailing instead of going to the beach) but the sex wasn’t great bc of all that I explained and I have the mastectomy.

Yes I sound completely pathetic but I am actually a strong, independent, interesting, sexy, gutsy woman……who is completely in love with this guy.

I have not responded to his last message.
I don’t want to lose him and don’t know what to do.

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By: Megan S https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1170456 Fri, 01 Jul 2022 17:57:31 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1170456 In reply to Keine.

Yesssss Keine you go girl.

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By: Melissa just viewed your profile! More info: https://letsg0dancing.page.link/go?hs=5018f28cc508220165aea56ecbbf19f4& https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1170436 Fri, 01 Jul 2022 08:13:49 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1170436 j9vg39

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By: Nela https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1170020 Tue, 21 Jun 2022 23:36:59 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1170020 Hi Matthew, I know a guy from online platform and we have met twice he is a nice guy but not in any of these times he showed interest he always text me ask about my day and other things and always asking to go out with him but when we meet he never asked me anything or tried to make a conversation just keep looking at me and telling me how pretty I am! and I’m the only one who trying to keep communication it’s really hard for me because I’m not a talkative person! And this honestly turned me off. What should I do?

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By: Songbird https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1169957 Tue, 21 Jun 2022 04:51:23 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1169957 Matt,
I was on your last coaching, I had difficulty with some of your questions I was not expecting but so glad you pushed and encouraged me to express roots so you can better help me. I can explain my situation much better now. I do have a secret that you brushed to the surface with your words. Next time I’m willing to spill more specific because I know there are others who I think need to hear it whether to help themselves or a girlfriend that may be suffering in silence too. This video was much appreciated and helpful in regaining my confidence but there’s another perspective of an untold frustration some women will face in trying to share issues that affect intimacy with their partner.

Fact is, if we were to play the game never have I ever and start listing all the awful things that a woman could experience.. I’d be out rather quickly. My past is filled with a lot of struggle. I’m not a person who is comfortable hiding things from a potential mate but I feel it’s important to pepper it in whilst you’re trying to nurture a budding romance. It’s daunting for me to drop these milestones of my story on my new love interest as I feel it can take up a big chunk of our the dates with intensity, because we both can fall on the serious side. We’ve been going really slow, taking turns on dates revealing more of ourselves to one another and things are starting to pick up. In the back of my mind, when it comes to experience with women, this guy is a late bloomer and I think signs I’ve seen point to him as being a little unsure of himself.

Nevertheless he’s kind, very patient, responsible, sweet creature of habit, not without a few flaws but I appreciate his quirks and find most of them to be endearing. Before we could go on dates we had to pen pal and in that time he became part of my support system cheering me on for going back to school and so earned my faith that he was someone I wanted to explore more. I don’t think I was imagining mutual interest. He started taking me out every now and again on his only day off and it’s been a lot of fun. Last four dates he began making more moves and things have been kinda heating up. Waiting for his kiss has been torture, and I’ve resisted my desire to push his ass against the wall and go for it myself, in the past I would have taken the initiative and ran with it but I’m terrified i’m going to fast track us towards the sack when 1. I haven’t figured out if I’m quite ready with my words to tell him super sensitive stuff that I haven’t worked through, can’t change, and have been learning to live with in recent times. It’s embarrassing to share and dear god what if I did fantasize our connection and mistaken his signs of increased interest, the humiliation will make me lose my progress and likely make the issue that much worse for me 2. I want to communicate that sex is something I do desire and I’d really love to explore some of the bases with him, but because of circumstances I plan to wait to have sex til my partner is sure they are in love with me. Because I want to give me and that person the best possible chance at a lasting partnership. (I might have given the accidental impression that i mean to wait till marriage, gotta clarify that) 3. As much as I adore him, there’s a part of me that is willing to extinguish my flame for him and just be a friendly admirer while he finds happiness with someone less… “experienced” than me.

At the time of the coaching with you I was feeling insecure because my last encounter with him was a great date, he was affectionate in a new way and it felt good, i was gaining confidence to let one of my bigger walls down. But a few days afterwards he broke our pattern of communication. I did recall him telling me some stressors he was trying to manage that were affecting him and that finding time to deal with those extra things i knew was going to be challenging for him. I tried not to panic initially, but it turned into a longer period than expected and doubt and fear started to trickle inside and plague me. He finally responded to an email I sent him and explained his sudden absence, it validated that my instinct wasn’t too far off in what the actual issues were. I haven’t written back yet, drafting still. His reasoning was satisfactory to me, I get what he was dealing with and he did come clean about the part that WAS related to me but I’m not about to let him completely off the hook. I need to course correct. I need to let him know that he did something to put doubt in my head of how well i actually know him and that it scared me. I also want to see him again soon because I need a hug dammit and he owes me one, he had me worried sick!

PS I have WatsApp now.. Thanks to a commenter who helped :D

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By: Kristina https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1169762 Sun, 19 Jun 2022 23:44:29 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1169762 Hi Matt,
Sex is a super-sensitive topic, so I imagine this was a tough video to create. I totally get your basic message, and agree with it. However, I was a bit thrown off by your comment that “safe sex went out of the window because of the unwillingness to have a conversation and enforce a standard” when talking about the condom campaign. It makes it sound like safe sex is the sole responsibility of the woman, and relies on her ability to enforce a standard. What about all the men out there who are constantly pressuring and manipulating women into having sex without condoms – whether the woman speaks up or not? That behavior is pervasive too. Can we at least acknowledge that the pressure women feel is real? Can we make it clear that safe sex is the responsibility of both people? For me, the truly shocking/sad thing isn’t that women don’t speak up – it’s that so many men need to be reminded (repeatedly) about the principles of safe sex.
Thanks for letting me voice my concern,
Kristina

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By: Keine https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1169748 Sun, 19 Jun 2022 21:34:31 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1169748 Hi Matt, Happy Birthday by the way. Thanks a lot for this, just in time, today I used your advice in practice. Met a man, had a nice date with him last week. For the next date he wanted to come to my home (where we can be alone, he invited himself). I declined and insisted on meeting him in public in a cafe or go for a walk together, now he doesn’t want to continue dating. Lesson learned: I gained something! This “loss” is a 100% gain and your video supported me in this insight and in messaging him my needs. Maybe it’s a small thing, but I feel I did it right! Thanks!! Keine

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By: Gail Stone https://matthewhussey.com/blog/scared-of-him-losing-interest-after-sleeping-together-watch-this/#comment-1169724 Sun, 19 Jun 2022 14:56:04 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=57061#comment-1169724 Love you Mathew

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