Comments on: Struggling to Communicate Your Needs With Them?

By: Fay sharpe OBE

Sun, 21 May 2023 22:12:06 +0000

Hi Matthew and Stephen, Thanks very much for your great podcasts most insightful. I bought your book ages ago which was great and just also ordered the texting thing which is already working! I’d been married for 20 plus years and the landscapes changed so much it’s a absolute must to move things forward. I’d spend tons of time talking to loads of guys only to have dead end texts and non meet ups.
Suddenly using the momentum tips I’m having much better conversations and have 3 dates lined up.. I’m not going to lie I did also do a Logan Ury course ( also good) but without blowing smoke up your butts (bottoms in english) your stuff is pretty good and having the mini booklet excellent.
Thanks Guys

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By: Rebekah

Sun, 21 May 2023 14:27:14 +0000

I’ve been lowering my standards in regards to social media in my relationship for the last few months and it’s made me a miserable person. He’s been perfectly happy that I stopped saying anything about being uncomfortable. The last time I did, it was over and I backed down in order to keep the relationship. I pretend that nothing is bothering me even though I’ve become obsessed with it. It’s destroying me. I’m in this alone, being shut down immediately. If I raise a concern, I’m being insecure, controlling, or too emotional.

As I woke up this morning, feeling like I need some resolve, I think it’s time to speak my truth and just let him go. It doesn’t feel good to me anymore and I’m not happy. I feel dismissed, disappointed and disrespected. I can’t waste any more time pretending for the sake of a relationship that no longer makes me happy. I’ve loved him enough to try, but he hasn’t put forth any effort. I’m just the cool girl. No opinion and no emotional responses, just to be his best friend and backbone. It no longer serves me. I just need to be strong….

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By: S Patel

Sun, 21 May 2023 13:50:08 +0000

So I have been love bombed often and even went through the actual cycle of love bombing and getting discarded by a narcissist. I am more jaded by the dating scene because of it but I also am holding myself more accountable to being more self-aware at these love bombers that I am more direct about my standards where as before I would let the guy set the tone and pace (which would end up me getting myself hurt and my time being wasted). When I actually confronted a love-bomber and told him I don’t want to get so many compliments early on (which he kept doing despite the fact that I actually have never been on the phone with him nor did I meet him it was all through texting on an app for several days) he preceded to ignore my standard and proceeded to continue to compliment me more. I even defined love bombing for him in a nicer way without adding the emotional manipulation/abuse part. I basically told him that I would rather get these compliments when I actually got to know him in person and through more chatting. He ignored my standard. I ended up ghosting him and deleting him off the app. At this point in time we didn’t chat on the phone. He didn’t even have my phone number and was not setting up a day/time to actually talk on the phone. The fact that he crossed that boundary I didn’t want to give him another chance. Is there any way I could have handled this differently? Did I misjudge too early or was I right in righting him off ( because I actually defined love-bombing, told him I did not want him to do it, and he ignored my request)?

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