I don’t usually talk publicly about my weaker moments.
When you work in the self-help industry, everyone expects you to talk about the positive things in life: success, money, happiness, popularity, beauty, love… Well, I don’t know about you, but my life certainly isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
No-one talks about feeling alone and loneliness enough. Everyone talks about success, money, popularity, beauty, fun…
But what about those moments when we go back to our bedroom, close the door, and feel like no-one in the world understands the struggle we’re going through. We have so much fear of revealing our naked, scared, suffering selves at times that we feel like it’s not valid to talk about our feelings of being alone.
Well, not today.
This may be one of the most personal videos I’ve ever done, but it’s also one of the most important…
Whatever you’re going through right now, I want you to know that someone is listening.
Please leave a comment on the video and share your thoughts with others so that they know someone else is going through the same as them.
Great topic! I think so many of us are afraid to be ourselves and be vulnerable. Therefore, we find excuses not to connect with each other. We then end up alone and lonely! I was just a recipient of this! Thought the guy was great but always found an excuse not to make us right for each other. I am sad and lonely!
Matthew and Jamison thank you so much for sharing. You guys are always bringing videos that are positive and empowering. However, it was nice to see a true vulnerable moment that appeared to be so raw for Matthew. Just makes you so much more relatable. Keep up the amazing work that helps so many.
Hey Matt, Thanks for the video in naming the pink elephant in the room. I’m glad that you did a video on this topic because it’s one of the things I’m struggling with being single. It’s especially hard on me right now because I’m working 60+ hours a week trying to start my own business. While I have the flexibility to focus all my effort in my business, I am also extremely lonely at times while working or winding down after a long day of work. I guess it’s about finding that right balance to not live like a cave man and also accomplishing my objectives. Could you share of the challenges you face in the initial stage of developing your business and how you balance that with love/social life?
Can’t wait to see a video about it. Thank you
PS. your british accent is extremely cute
I think that you are a beautiful person! Thank you for having such a kind, loving and generous heart! Wishing you so many blessings!
Hi Matt..your video on loneliness was very nourishing. ..years ago I would have tell myself. .no this can never be me…my husband died a while ago..but my marriage was made up of a lot of bitter lemons but in those days I had to take those very lemons n make juice….I survived.Four yrs ago I met this someone who meant the world to me…our relationship grew but most of our time was spent very distance we had lived in two different countries. .however I moved here and we both hook up..we still are not living together. .but things were great..recently it has changed. .and I’m very alone n hurting..I don’t hear from him like before I learned a few stuff from your other videos. ..I’m not stooping to no man…so I’m on the silence treatment presently…but I know my values so I’m watching at his show …thank you so much Mat For reaching out to all those women like me ..n it’so true that you feel good inside when u know u can relate stuff and know that you re not ALONE.continue your good work. God bless you. .
love love this message , Matt you are the best! I love the fact you are so authentic and real with this subject. I think is easier to feel lonely these days because social media portrays much people as the opposite when is not always the case
I absolutely LOVE this video. I have been watching your videos for a couple of months now and this is the best one yet! Leaving it raw and uncut/unedited… Perfect!
Everyone you meet on a day to day basis is facing something in their own lives that leaves them feeling lonely inside. I usually don’t ever do New Years resolutions, but I challenged myself this year to BE KIND to everyone. While solitude is good for my creative side sometimes, loneliness is definitely a struggle for me. So I have tried to just start smiling more at strangers! Lol.. :)
Thank you for posting this video!! I loved it!
Thanks, Matt. Your authenticity is extremely refreshing. Please know that I often pray for you in all of your personal effort and sacrifice that goes in to influencing your world.
Thank you Matthew, Love you to dear and I appreciate how raw you are and real, it really helps alot to see that! I am alone alot, with having pancreatic cancer, I don’t get to do a lot of things, I usually tire out so fast that I end up on the couch, the bed, or anywhere in our home comfy! It can be so frustrating to not be able to do what my daughters are doing or even what I used to do. I used to dance all of the time, work, play in the garden, or just be out and about all day! I hate that other people are going through what I am going through, this is pure hell at times, but I am not alone in that. So thank you again, your video has made my night better! Bless all of you✌️
Hello Chrystal. Tku fr sharing and sorry to that u r so ill wth cancer & feeling so alone. Must b very frightening at times & can’t imagine what you must b going thru. But very brave of you to share & reach out. Matt’s sincere heartfelt video is so very timely fr so many of us. You can feel proud of all you have done in your life and raising or raised two beautiful precious daughters.
I sincerely hope u pull through this gigantic fight and become well again. Sharing your exhausting battle will encourage others. Take care luv Gigi XO
Thanks Matthew, that’s so genuine and real. Social media is an illusion, i even started to believe it one point, but it’s just putting us further and further apart in establishing real, genuine connections. I feel lonely a lot, and i thought it was just me. Like had a problem, and everyone else was living a party life. So thanks for creating that human connection that we are all in this together.
I have huge respect to people who remain calm and still find a courage way to deal with loneliness without feeling any self-pity. My own opinion on being lonely, is be careful on what you put in your mind when you are alone. Your life is shaped by your thoughts.
Matt is at his best when he is honest, transparent, and vulnerable. The timing on this video is perfect for me. I’ve been pitying myself for far too long. I’m not currently in a romantic relationship. I have three close friends in my life. One of them refuses to treat me the way I expect my friends to treat me, and I’ve finally decided it is time to cut him out of my life. Another of those three friends just informed me that he will be moving out of the country soon. Plus, my mother just became a grandmother for the first time, and all of the attention in the family is of course on the new baby. The most alone I ever felt was when my boss took a week off for vacation. I went for four days straight without talking to another human being – not a coworker, family member, or even a checker at the grocery store. I was seriously considering taking a page out of “To the Manor Born” by calling up people to give me free quotes for things just so I could have someone to talk to. It’s nice to be reminded I’m not alone in feeling alone.
One of my new favorite movies is “The Holiday”. I love how Kate Winslet’s character breaks through her loneliness and heartache by befriending an elderly gentleman. What a beautiful reminder that happiness and deep connection come through serving others, and that a relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship to fill the hole in our hearts and to make us feel connected, valued, and alive. When she forgot herself and instead focused on serving others that is when she found herself.
I agree that being alone isn’t always bad. And the truth is that I choose to be alone. Using Matt’s advice I have surprisingly found men who are willing to date me. I know places I can go and things I can do to find new friends. But right now I feel like I really need time to focus on me. It is only in true solitude that I can meet the real me, both the good and the bad. I have had a lot of growth in my alone time. Once I am sufficiently healed, I will go back into the world, and with my growth and experiences I will be a much stronger and wiser force for good. It is all my choice. Sometimes I lose sight of that. I have the skills necessary to change my situation when I want to. The reason I haven’t changed it yet is because I still have things to learn. If I choose to be alone, it is quite silly to then mourn my lonely state. And whether it’s meeting new people at a theater or chatting with other great people online at VJ in my PJs, I am never truly completely alone.
I needed to hear this message. I was cleaning out email in preparation for the coming week & nearly deleted the email without reading it. I’m not sure what stayed my hand, but I clicked on the video instead.
Recently I was in a motorcycle accident. The man I thought loved me & wanted to be with me forever, began cheating on me when I was still in the hospital. When I got home he was angry because I wasn’t interested in sex – I wasn’t even able to shower or feed myself, sex wasn’t high on the priority list.
Then, the day after Christmas he abandoned me. Said I was “too demanding” and was doing nothing to help around the house – did I mention I was wheelchair-bound & incapable of doing anything for myself?!? In the moment he left he dumped me out of my chair & took the chair to the other end of the house; it took me 2 hours to get back in it.
Within days my family moved me to a place where I know no one except my sister. She is very helpful as time allows, but she has a husband & an invalid son to take care of. So I’ve spent a ton of time alone. My kids come the two hours to see me as time allows, but it’s not often.
So I’ve been very much alone and lonely. Sure I hear from my friends all the time, bun they are over a thousand miles away from here. I’ve been wishing I had done something different so that my ex didn’t walk away, but I don’t know what.
This helped me to realize that being alone for a bit isn’t going to kill me. And it may even help me if I embrace it. So thank you so very much for this video just as you aired it. I think you may have saved me. xoxo
This sharing really struck a deep cord and I enjoyed shedding some tears listening to it. In an age of over-stimulation and addiction to busyness, pressing the pause and mute button can be just the right thing just to allow our feelings to bubble to the surface. I ended a long term relationship a year ago and felt like I had grieved it fully. I was looking for any ripple effect and it was not forthcoming. Yet when my 14 year old cat died a few months ago, I felt kind of lost and very lonely. I felt like I had lost my bearings. Feeling “the void”, while painful at times can bring beauty and connection on a deeper level spiritually. We are all alone essentially trying to do our best and I also know that love is our greatest undertaking in life. The media tells us “being in love” all the time is what is desirable. Yet living a truly passionate life may or may not include a partner. Perhaps we need solitude as well as union and the more we can comfortably honor the polarity and our need for both, well, maybe we can be more balanced (and honor our future partners need for both as well). You have struck a universal cord here. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. It feels really nice to know that somebody is listening and that someone cares. Your timing was so impeccable. Thank you for talking to us about loneliness. Probably one of the best videos you could ever come up with. You have been very genuine in all your videos and you have really understood how to nail the feelings of people. I really appreciate your honesty and sincerity :)
Just beautiful. From your work I have realized that men are as vulnerable as women. A few weeks ago I was chatting with a guy from my Meetup group (just a friend) and I said “we are all lonely ” and relief flooded him. This weekend I was on a date with a man that I met (and btw there would have been no date had it not been for your techniques Matt !) and he talked about his loneliness.
I see the point is not to rescue each other from loneliness but accept it as we must accept our own mortality . Once we do this we are free to connect with others without a “save me from myself” price tag attached
A great mantra for when i feel lonely is ‘Mine, o thou Lord of life, bring my roots rain’ Lord being any Lord or any entity….
Thanks nice. Thanks for sharing!
That’s very nice. Thanks for sharing!
Aww, this is a really sweet video Matt. I think lonelyness is perhaps another word for vulnerable. A time when you need your best friends and people you love. When you feel they’re not there for you it can be hard… I’ve been feeling like that today too, and I think perhaps this it’s a good time for me to call on myself as if I am my own best friend and knowing that I can look after myself almost as a separate person… I hope that makes sense.!! I’m going to give myself a break today and do something nice for me as my own best friend. X
Katherine
Ps. Have a virtual hug from me xx
Hey Matty I thought you were amazing before this video but you seem to have exceeded your amazingness yet again I have been single for a few years but since I have found you.. I don’t feel so alone… You have been with me for past two years guiding me and helping me.. Not only dealing with dating and men but bettering myself in so many ways…. I am still not there and sometimes feel like will it really ever happen forme!??! But try and stay positive and listen to your stuff everyday..listening to you is the favourite part of my day
I love you very much and would really love to meet you… Will you by any chance be in London in May?
I am in Australia… It would amazing if you come down under one day…
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
keep safe
Amelia xoxo
Hey Matty I thought you were amazing before this video but you seem to have exceeded your amazingness yet again xoxo
I have been single for a few years but since I have found you.. I don’t feel so alone… You have been with me for past two years guiding me and helping me.. Not only dealing with dating and men but bettering myself in so many other ways…. I am still not there and sometimes feel like will it really ever happen forme!??! But try and stay positive and listen to your stuff everyday..listening to you is the favourite part of my day xoxo
I love you very much and would really love to meet you… Will you by any chance be in London in May?
I am in Australia… It would amazing if you come down under one day…
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
keep safe
Amelia xoxo