How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time

Knowledge is one of the most attractive things we can have.

Sometimes knowledge comes in the form of what we know, other times in the form of things we can do and skills we have.

We live in a world where it’s become more necessary than ever to have eclectic knowledge and diverse skillsets.

Men are running out of ways to feel special

It’s not enough that we make money or have status, because women today already have these things.

We have to work a little harder to be interesting

We cannot afford NOT to be a Renaissance man or woman with a variety of skillsets, art forms and knowledge bases.

Knowledge and skill is a good look on anyone – as is curiosity which inevitably leads us to these things.

And attraction is sustained for longer periods of time when you’re able to keep surprising your partner.

Challenge:

Go and learn about or study something that you have no real need for. Just do something new.

When you’ve decided, leave a comment about the thing you’ve picked. Then come back and leave another at the end of the week to let me know how you’ve gotten on! Do you feel more interesting? Do you have a story because of it?

Be sure to let me know as you’ll be giving me ideas for what I can go on to do next myself!

Want a proven blueprint for meeting great guys while involved in group activities and taking improving classes? Check out my online program The Man Myth to get inside the male mind, chance your ‘filter’ for creating opportunity, and start meeting more men than ever before.

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565 Replies to “How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time”

  • Hello all,
    Small testimonial! :)
    I had done the 6 months Get the Guy online program (as a result of which, I did get Him!), and I can assure you that in my case, putting my knowledge and skills forward are what helped me most during the dating process.
    Before I used to tune down or hide my abilities, because I was afraid guys would get scared of me… consequently I dated men who were insecure about themselves and their own abilities.
    As I did the program I started to go all out – I value curiosity and intelligence a lot, so why hide it? And I started to attract men who were smart, confident and ambitious.
    Hard to believe? It’s pretty logic when you think about it. :)
    Cheers!
    Dominique

  • Matt,
    Obviously sex is very important in a relationship. I’m challenging you to do a video on virginity… ie, dating while one is a virgin and not wanting to have sex until the guy commits (not necessarily marriage, but some sign of exclusivity, a real relationship). How do guys feel about that? How does a virgin navigate her way through modern dating?

    1. Not even just about virgins, but for those of who are not virgins and also simply want to wait until Marriage for sex whether they are virgins or not. It is difficult and guys act like you are CRAZY. LOL

  • Hi Matthew,

    I know I’m a few days late in response to this video, but I just wanted to say thank you. I have always wanted to do a cooking class, but never took the time to find a class and go. I can now say I just finished my first class and had a great time! I learned a lot about food! Thank you for giving us a boost of encouragement to learn something new.

    P.S. if you ever want to know how to make superfood, superfast, supereasy, feel free to ask! ;)

  • I recently had a conversation with someone about the events in Egypt and I sounded like a total tool. So your video actually gave me an idea to download a podcast about what is really happening over in that region so I can respond and participate in the conversation intelligently when it occurs.

    Thanks!

    E

  • I commented about this on another video. But it fits better here. I am excited because I finished my Master’s Thesis this week and wanted to thank you for your video about stopping procrastination which helped me get started on it. I passed my Oral examination on Thursday and finished all of my edits this morning, so I have my Master’s degree and I am excited. It feels like a large bag of heavy bricks have lifted from my back. :) Thanks for your encouragement Matthew.

  • I have a problem a guy who says he loves me he doesnt get that Im not really that into him I like him but im not that interested in him but because I have not he just wants a wife out of me too fast I feel like the rolls have been switched I want to jst be casual you know have some fun I mean we lives in different towns and he and I havent spent more then about 20 days separare d into three longer stays at my place between febuary ang may and then we where mostly in the bed I thought I was clear with my intetitons when jumping in bed with him on the first night and every day after that granted we talked ove the net for a few mounths before I agreed to meet with him and I told him that I had my eyes on an other guy or that I really miss a guy that you might call K and we can call the guy who are the problem D anyway D is a sweet guy but he talks about old girlfriends and how everyone of them has used him and left him only to find new guys short after and he cries when he has to leave me and just generally makes me feel drained and if I gently tries to point out that his problem may be a result of how he acts he gets upset and says that he cant change and he is like this I mean he needs to find ways to control himself I wanted sex so when he said you want to and showed that he obvoius had a hard on on the first night I agreed to do it might not be the best way to show that you want a serious relationship, he also kind of have a hard on everytime we are alone togeteher I wouldnt mind that if it didn’t have to lead to sex everytime he sends me hundreds of sweet textmessages so many it started to be annoying and then he tells me that he dont want to start something if there is even the smallest chance that it might lead to a seperation after two years or so becase he is looking for a wife its like he is a child that doesnt want to hear a story unless he knew it ends happy only that the story in this case havent been written yet. and i dont want to write it if it means I cant be allowed to change my mind if my feelings change or his does. he has also said that people who are married should stay that way even if they dont love each others anymore and only physical abuse is a good enough reason to leave even if the people feel trapped or chained together.

    1. If you are not in love with him, break up with him totally and let him get over you. It is cruel on your part to continue to lead him on when you have no intentions of a serious relationship and this is what he wants. He deserves to be treated better than that. You are using him and no one deserves to be used.

  • one thing about this clip is a little wrong in my opinion the need to be a guy with many ways to show that they are a intresting and special was almost the same in acient greece young men strive to have a vast knowlegdge about language and every kind of art-forms,astronomy, philosophy, politics, literature you name it and every science it isnt some new thing

  • Great tips, Matthew! I really enjoy your videos on YouTube and will begin to explore your site in more detail soon. I just wanted to comment on this particular blog today, partly because I’m just seeing it for the first time and I like to share my thoughts, and partially because…well, I’m not quite sure of the other part! I just felt compelled. :)

    I agree completely with Ann. I don’t think I would want to learn anything that wouldn’t hold my interest. Chances are, after I’ve read that book on the American Revolution, I won’t remember squat from it. War history just isn’t my thing…BUT, the evolution of human emotion and micro expressions IS something I’m interested in learning more about and am currently researching at my University. History of boxing is intriguing and I get more than my fair of learning from my boxing instructor.

    Not sure if telling a guy “hey, I can tell by reading your facial expressions and body language whether or not you’re lying to me” or “oh by the way, I LOVE to box and can throw a mean uppercut” would be the BEST idea, lol, but having those skill sets and that extra knowledge can prove beneficial in other aspects in life (or at work, for instance). So I’d say to others reading your blog, “do this anyway”, not just to make yourself sexier through acquired knowledge, but also just to make your life richer.

    How fun would it be to do a Tough Mudder course and SURVIVE it all?! How fun would it be to learn a martial art, like capoeira?

    You did remind me of my desire to pick back up on some language skills. I worked with a Spanish interpreter while interviewing a patient the other day and I was absolutely intrigued by his ability to be that bridge in communication. Very exciting. *I* want to be able to do that!

    Thanks again for the advice. As always, you’re on point!

    always,
    Tammy

  • Fun exercise. I learned about how tobacco is fermented and cured to make cigars and history behind cigar labels. Winning. Thanks!!

  • Hi Matt
    I have taken your challenge and decided to do several things I’ve always wanted to do just because. I’m learning Italian, flying for the first time ever:) going to London for September and taking a film class while i’m there. Thank you for all of your wonderful encouragement. Sundays are definitely my favorite days:)

  • I really like what you’ve said there Matthew. I’m a big supporter of expanding one’s knowledge base even if its with random stuff that you don’t really need in life. I find that aside from giving you interesting things to talk about at gatherings, it also makes life a whole lot jucier and out of the box. Currently taking Chinese myself. After I’m done its onto Japanese. There is just something beautiful and romantic about South East Asia that my heart is just aching to drown in and be a part of! That’s my new thing!:-) ps:love your mandarin pronunciation. The tones are giving me a bit of a hard time but I’m getting there ^^

  • So many amazing women starting so many amazing things. Encouraged by all of these, I packed two bags and moved to Washinton DC for two months (from Sweden) to learn a new city :D

    1. That’s amazing, Katja!! Enjoy D.C.! Even those from the states are at awe visiting the monuments. :) Oh, and try a Noodles & Company restaurant for lunch if you’re a fan of pasta. There’s one in Fairfax, VA I believe…not too far from DC. Penne rosa…yum!

  • wow, it`s my first time to leave a message here. Your ideas are really inspiring.

    Thanks for your advice for learning sth new, I am a Chinese who is learning Spanish. It`s good to hear that you said “where do u come from” in mandarin.

    And I do agree that knowleadge is important to conversation, cuz I am fond of guys who are smart and talented.

  • Hey matt! Im 17 years old and Im from Mexico. I looooove you videos. you’ve inspired me so much. all my life I grew up knowing that I suck at football, but i love it; So this year I decided to try and I joined my school’s team. Also I’m taking french lessons next week and I’ll try to take salsa classes! thank you, you are amazing and you make my day happier (:

  • hi i’m mona i’m a big fan of yours .i used to watch plan jane a lot , and then i found ur videos nd i think they r amazing u have some pretty great advice. i try to folloow them ones in while to improve myself a litlle, because when it come to guys well, m usually social nd easy going , very energetic maybe too sarcastic but only with guys that i know already nd have a bond or some kind of relationship with nd when i know that we’re just friends nd nothing more . but when it comes to new guys that meet nd that m interested in or when they r interested in me which is even worse because i become the opposite of who i am which is definitly not silent nor shy i become just an observer it’s like m analyzing the other person in front of me then when i meet that exact person more than ones i become more myself nd finally start to interact. the funny thing is that i do that with everybody not only guys and it help me meet great people whom i trust a lot nd keep the creeps away but with guys with whom i want to be more than friends that approach isn’t helping at all . so i’m trying new things like u said like learning italian nd spanish which is something i always wanted to do which is really fun . basically just doing more activities hoping to be more smooth nd learn to lower my guards when meeting new people :)

  • Im in london for two weeks and living near stamford hill, one of the biggest hassidic community. So i searched about them and about Jews in general, as i was raised Catholic and dont know any jewish person. :)

  • Mathew I was thinking about this this week. Watching too many Kardashians I thoughts making me boring. How do I make conversation out of thin air. So on that track, I downloaded an app called ‘Pulse’ I think you’ll like it. No, I don’t produce it!! You create your own feed of all your favourite websites on whatever topic you like eg news, humour, technology, women’s stuff, men’s stuff of interest. I think it helps if you go to work on the train as if you take the tube it only downloads a taster if each story/ the story but not the images but its enough to remind me of all the different wacky & funny crazy stuff going on in this world & I plan to start dropping it into conversation!

    Next I want to find a good book to read. Not a self help one (unless its the gtg one already in my kindle app!) If its a biography I want it to be someone inspirational. Or something fun/intersting. Any ideas Mathew of a book that would interest a guy if I peppered my conversation with it? Thanks!

    Having been on the GTG course (with your dad) I spotted straight off you were ‘story-telling’ I have not found a ‘story’ yet so I need to practice this!

    Thanks Mathew!

  • I always had a similar belief, it lead me to learning to pole dancing. I thought, not only would it be fun to do (and it is) I also though ‘Oh, that would be an interesting conversation at the dinner table’ – suprisingly it is, people love to hear about it. Naturally there is a flipside, my nan tends to get confused and introduces me as an ‘Exotic Dancer’ or ‘Stripper’

    Have you thought about learning pole dancing Matthew? I bet you could start a new guy-trend down Essex. No? Ok, fair enough. :-/

  • I’m really curious as to what you said in Chinese. I’ve been interested in Chinese and the culture for as long as I can remember (my sister whom is four years younger then me was adopted from China) and for almost four years now I’ve been more into Korean and Kpop, which has led me to other Asian interests.
    I thought this was a very true and well said video but I also think it is important to not go over the top with new topics/information/interests. An example being Kpop and other (mostly Asian) music. A friend of mine introduced me to it after we had been friends a while because she wanted someone to share her love for it with. I thought it was really cool and now it’s most of what we talk about and I’ve realized for a little while now it’s most of what my world revolves around. I wouldn’t say I’m extreme: especially compared to other girls(and boys) but if you’re not a fan then I probably seem totally obsessed with it…
    Any thoughts?

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