Miranda, Is this instructor an adult or another student? Because adults are off limits to 14 year Olds. That would make him a pedophile. He could be charged and arrested ruining his life and possibly yours. Do not pursue adult men and do not be tricked into liking one in a sexual way. End of story.

Aw hehe ^^ ********.

Glad to share

Also still tells me how amazing I am. If it weren’t for what I have been through it would be easier to commit. But since it’s new for me he doesn’t want commitment.

He also checks up on me all the time and my 2 sons. (He has 3 daughters). When I ask why. He says he can’t just switch off his feelings.

I am talking to other guys.

I really like this man. I’m 33 he is 45. Doesn’t look or act it at all. He does a lot of charity. I am involving myself in more charity.

I am a positive get up and go person.

Any advice?

Hey there! So first off if you are not super nice to people I would focus learning how to be nice. I think until you figure that out you should not really concern yourself with things like crushes. A person who can’t love others can hardly expect others to love them back. You know the golden rule “treat others the way you want to be treated.”

I’m not saying that is always easy because some people are just not nice themselves and it is much easier to be mean to others first rather then risking getting hurt. However being hurt and fighting with LOVE rather then anger is a powerful and beautiful thing. It makes even the most unlovable person some how lovable.

As far as the crush goes don’t worry so hard on making him like you in a romantic way. If you can start treating others with respect and trying to respect him as a person then either 1) he’ll take notice of you or 2) someone else will. It also must be noted that when you have a crush on someone people tend to idealize that person.

Here is what I would do. Write a list of 10 traits that you want in a potential life partner. Nothing petty like “they have to have blue eyes.” Maybe there a certain qualities that are attractive but that is not a deal breaker. Write things like “is passionate about something” or “respects his family and other people.” There is nothing more attractive then a man who can lead but is also a great listener. In both areas I’m looking for the heart to take care of others. Stuff like that. Then as you get to know different kinds of guys you can be looking for those qualities. Let’s be honest looks can only go so far but a man’s character is what defines him.

Focus on those things instead of on this one guy. Good luck!

Have I gotten this correct… he is your cousin? Girl you have much bigger problems if you are trying to get something like that from someone your related to. I mean good luck to you and all but I would steer clear of that genetic disaster about to happen.

P.S. There are plenty of handsome people in the world. Stick around a while and you might just see them.

I both agree and respectfully disagree with what you just said. On the one hand yes guys have a desire to protect and vanquish, and if there nothing to protect or vanquish then there is no need for them to put any effort in or give their heart. On the other hand a woman calling first is not the worst thing in the world. There needs to be a balance.

Now in response to “Ananya” I’m sorry that you said I love you and he rejected you. That sucks and you have every right to feel said. It’s what you do with all those feelings that count. As it has been said many times, “It’s better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.” Sometimes we put our cards on the table and it doesn’t go well. This might be one of those circumstances. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them. If you try and force something onto him that he doesn’t feel it will only create resentment on both sides. This is what I would do. 1) Accept that you are hurt and allow yourself to feel that pain. 2) Find some creative outlet and/ or a buddy to express your feelings. 3) Figure out how you can learn from this whole experience and use that passion to motivate you to move on and become a better you.

acknowledge – > deal with the feelings -> move on

Sometimes you have to deal with the feelings more the once. That is fine. You are not crazy for feeling things. How ever you do need to understand the difference between feelings and reality.

Example: Say I had a dog and didn’t feel like feeding it. If I listened to my feelings I wouldn’t feed the dog. But just because I don’t feel like feeding the dog doesn’t mean that I’m not going to feed it.

Do a Ginny Weasley (reference from Harry Potter) and try to go out with other people. I mean you are young so don’t feel you have to be in a relationship if you’re not ready. Feel free to even focus on things like hobbies, sports, your education, and such. Basically if you can stop obsessing over him and start living then one of two things will happen. 1) He’ll take notice of you and see what an amazing person you are or 2) you’ll become so busy with other things that you’ll forget (at least to an extent) your crush on him. You might even meet someone else who you have more things in common with that you can have mutual feelings for. Good luck!

First off crushes are not infrequent beings. Meaning just because you have a crush on someone does not mean you should act on it. You are young and will have many more crushes. I’d say the sexiest thing you can do is focus on your education. There is nothing more attractive then a woman who can think. Second of all you’re a minor. So focus on graduating and then if you’re still interested you can strike up a conversation with him if you like. Don’t kid yourself, no respectable guy would flirt with a minor if they were not one themselves. I know it’s hard to hard to wait but Rome was not built in a day. Good luck!