Comments on: The #1 Thing Men Say to Avoid Commitment https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/ Have The Love Life You Want Mon, 05 Dec 2022 02:34:58 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 By: Beyond Confused https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1177524 Mon, 05 Dec 2022 02:34:58 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1177524 Please bear with long msg & please, please don’t judge ‘cuz I feel horrible enough the way it is…I’ve known a man 35 yrs. We were each others “firsts”. We’ve had a brief on again, off again thing a few times over the yrs & remained in contact from time to time as friends just to say hi, nothing more. Both of us married/divorced (other people), me x2 – both cheated. I moved back to my hometown few yrs ago. Was dating someone toxic. My friend helped me realize how bad it was & break free. We msgd almost everyday for about 6 mos. For just over a yr though we’ve been seeing each other when he can. He msgs 1st thing in morning, last thing @ night & frequently throughout day, everyday. He owns very busy, successful business. Works long irregular hrs (worked for fam when we met so know to be true) & he’s in long-term relationship. Don’t get to see him real often. She has a kid. They stay with him part time but live in another city within driving distance. Says he stays with her ‘cuz he’s the only dad her kid’s ever known. His parents divorced & he knows how much it sucks & can’t do that to the kid. He also co-signed for multiple loans for gf & her older kid. Says it’s a big financial mess & wishes he’d never done it & really wishes that things were different. He’s comes from money/has lots of money whereas I don’t. I’m a single mom & although I have a college degree & career in medical field I have a lot of debt & don’t have the “right” name which matters in a small town. I have a small circle of friends. His gf comes from money, has the “right” name & large circle of friends including doctors, lawyers, realtors, business owners, etc. I’m nobody, she’s somebody. He’s very flashy when it comes to guy’s “toys” & very well known in the community, in a way nationwide & has friends that are celebrities. In the past he was all about image. Says he’s not anymore but I think that’s why he won’t be with me. We’ve always had a special connection on every level – he’s the one that points it out all the time. Tells me that when we’re together the world goes away & everything feels perfect. When we touch there’s a spark that’s magical. Definitely not lacking chemistry! We get lost in each other’s kisses. Can talk for hours. Time flies when we’re together. We do things together that neither of us have done with anyone else (he’s normally very shy/reserved & has very gradually come out of his shell with me). He’s opened up to me about very personal things & even cried in front of me when speaking about loved one that passed away (not typically emotional guy). Recently, he drunk texted that he loves me. I got a little weird about it & asked if it was meant for me He told me he hasn’t said it since because I got weird about it. I have major trust issues from previous relationships & have repeatedly pushed him away (not intentionally). He insists he won’t give up on me. He touches my face, looks deep in my eyes & gives me “those” looks, if you know what I mean. We’ve had pet names for each other forever (he started with it). The few times we’ve argued we both aren’t ourselves & feel lost when talking. We just compliment each other so well, make each other smile, & cheer each other on. Can “feel” when we’re thinking of each other & often text each other @ same time, say same things @ same time, save or send same memes, have same experiences, listen to same songs @ same time, see same number patterns…synchronicities like that. Everything feels so natural between us that initially when we started messing around, the FWB thing felt wrong yet didn’t because of our strong connection. I highly frown upon this type of behavior yet here I am in this situation. I absolutely hate it & want a real relationship. Always says he misses me & wishes we could be together. Well, wth…I’ve told him then do something about it!! He says it’s complicated because of the loans & the business is tangled up in it. Says he feels trapped, stuck & depressed because of it. In photos of them over the past maybe 5 yrs, both of them went from genuine smiles, obvious love in their bright, wide eyes, relaxed postures & close body contact to obvious forced smiles, dull expressionless eyes, stiff postures & space between them. You can see their unhappiness, especially his. He looks so very sad!
Some of you will understand, some of you won’t – we’re honest to God like magnets drawn to each other. Always have been, for 35 yrs! With the things he consistently says I can tell he honestly feels the same connection. He’s actually mentioned destiny/fate/soulmates before. When I mentioned twin flames or mirror souls he looked them up & was in awe of the similarities. What do I do? HOW! do I either break free from this situation or get him to realize that, although not easy, there got to be a way(s) out of his current that he feels stuck in?

]]> By: Rene Kelley https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176898 Mon, 21 Nov 2022 07:22:41 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176898 Hello Matthew,
I must tell you that I’ve been with you for many years and the growth that has occurred as a result is priceless. I’m a 49 year old female who has been in two unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships, each lasting a decade long and one was a marriage. I met you at the sunset of my last relationship, and I have been single since then for the last 6 years.

My life however is full of love and beauty. I’m raising my 17 year old daughter who is amazing! I travel, I have beautiful friendships, and I love my family! Additionally, I’ve been living and working in Japan for the last 6 years! It’s an amazing place!

Your videos, blogs, emails, etc always resonate with me! However I’m thinking it may be time for me to introduce my 17 year old to you. She likes a gentleman who seems to be causing her more stress than happiness. I’m doing my best to Coach her through it. However, the lessons and truths I’ve learned from you are things I wished I knew so many years ago. If my daughter can grasp the fundamentals of core confidence now, she will be worlds ahead than I was at her age.

Thank you for being you! I’m tremendously thankful for you!

Kind regards,
René

]]> By: Brown Blake https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176896 Mon, 21 Nov 2022 07:08:23 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176896 Hey Matthew i was watching your YouTube videos and me and my gf just broke up and it’s kind of a out of the ordinary situation. We were long distance. She’s from Canada and I’m from the USA. We FaceTimed everyday for 4 months straight. We would FaceTime while we slept, while we worked out, while we basically did anything. And everything was going good until I bought the plane ticket to see her. She started putting less effort and energy. She said it was because she felt peace and comfortable. But she went to a movie with a guy friend and I questioned it and she assumed I didn’t trust her when I just didn’t trust the man. But it all ended because she said she couldn’t be with someone who can’t trust her ever. I tried to rekindle things but she has it engraved in her head that I will never trust her so she doesn’t want to try anymore. What do you think I should do or how can I get setup to get coaching to get her back?

]]> By: Franky B https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176888 Mon, 21 Nov 2022 03:45:08 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176888 The two last paragraphs are absolutely spot on. Thank you so much for sharing this information.

]]> By: Fiona Campbell https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176877 Sun, 20 Nov 2022 20:21:40 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176877 Really, really great video, as always, but, just wanted to check if you’d slipped in a swindley of your own when you said “me and Audrey” instead of “Audrey and I”??? Or were you just demonstrating something else?

]]> By: Jen Grobler https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176865 Sun, 20 Nov 2022 17:14:53 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176865 This was incredibly helpful to me thank you Painful, but helpful, as I am a novice at this .

Cheers
Jen

]]> By: Anna https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176864 Sun, 20 Nov 2022 16:13:33 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176864 Hmm, shoe on the other foot here. Having had a lot of very tiring relationships, where the other person is a mismatch to live with; too messy, too tidy, too controlling, I am more after the way of choosing to spend time with someone, but living separately and not in each others’ pocket. I really like my own space, and with a professional life it gets busy, I don’t like dropping friends when dating picks up either.

A bit like your friend Ester Perel described, I like the idea of a relationship where the everyday drudge is not involved. You chase to see each other, when you both want to.

Am I just too old and unwilling to compromise now that I’ve been burnt a few times?

]]> By: MJ Brienen https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176863 Sun, 20 Nov 2022 15:55:02 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176863 This was the perfect video for me to watch today. I have the exact person you have described, the swindler. I don’t need to ask him if he’s progressing, his actions tell me he is not. You have just freed me. Thank you

]]> By: Andrea https://matthewhussey.com/blog/the-number-one-thing-men-say-to-avoid-commitment/#comment-1176862 Sun, 20 Nov 2022 15:23:03 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=68780#comment-1176862 You know that was interesting. I was dating someone, who I felt was being aloof 90% of the time, but then he introduced me to his daughter, so I thought he was becoming more committed. However, he eventually dumped me. Then he came back a year later. I dated him again, but, essentially, dumped him… The whole thing was % confusing. I haven’t dated anyone since and its been about 6 years now.

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