Most recently, your concept of the Disneyland ‘trashcan’ moments.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnUb00mKNaE

My partner and I both live in the UK as actors/writers, which means we can have long periods of time apart (going off on theatre tours), followed by long periods of being together all day every day (and writing our novel together).

When we’re apart, there are plenty of ‘trashcan’ moments that we realise we miss. Like you say, it’s the little things. For me, it might be the simple physical sensation of sitting down next to him on our sofa, or the fact that he’s made a tradition of running over to hug me when I sneeze. For him, it might be the way I absent-mindedly pull his socks up for him, or tug on his earlobe when we’re watching TV. He always throws me a huge grin when I do that.

When we are able to have breakfast together, we make a little ceremony of it (even if we have just had breakfast together for the fiftieth time in a row). We call them ‘Happy Breakfasts’ and we put our milk in jugs and our cereal in jars and just eat at the table with no other distractions but each other and we are thrilled by it each and every time!

And we fully express the littlest joys we feel in the ordinary, and we constantly tell each other how happy we are with each other, how grateful we are that life put us together at the time that it did.

A few nights ago, we met some friends at a bar, and we got chatting to the waitress. She asked how long we had been together, and when we said it was almost five years, she said “And you’re STILL like that?!” delightfully shocked that we were still in the so-called ‘honeymoon’ period, and still looked at and laughed with each other in that way. Our goal is to always be like that, and be cute/gross fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty year olds together.

We certainly do like to remember the BIG memories, like the time he proposed to me on holiday in Mexico. But we far more frequently reminisce about the beautiful ‘trashcan’ memories.

I like to remind him of the time, early on in our relationship, that he said “You know what I’ve realised about you? You’re very sincere,” and I tell him that that might have been my single, favourite compliment I’ve ever received.

Or he might remind me of the time I revealed that I had bought him a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in secret, because he wanted to try eating less chocolate but I knew he’d change his mind and wish he had some and get sad because he didn’t buy any. His reaction was priceless!

Matthew, you are SO right about these ‘trashcan’ moments. They are the extraordinary in the ordinary. The magic in the mundane. If you find as much happiness in the ‘trashcans’ as you do in the ‘space mountains,’ then you will live every day like you’re at Disneyland. Because we certainly feel that way when we’re together.

Watching your videos helps me find new ways of being grateful, and making logical sense out of love and happiness.

I feel like your saying that because I am looking for more than someone who’s just fun to be around, I’m over thinking it, or asking to much from a guy.. Or am I just getting this wrong.